Evil Spirits. My story. Help Wante... 
bfree
17 y
10,755
† Cross †
This is a true story of my on-going odyssey, a journey which took me through heaven and hell over the past few months.
Over the period of last two years I was going through an extremely intense process of psycho-spiritual initiation. The whole experience was truly magical and huge, so much so that in fact it was borderline with being overwhelming. I increasingly felt amazing connection with people and the whole world. My intuitive and healing abilities flourished, my memory and analytical skills improved. I was feeling oneness with the world, loving everything and everyone. I was, perhaps for the first time in my life, happy. All was beautiful and well. Everyone’s face was glowing with beauty and wisdom. I was falling in love with every person I met. It seemed everyone was just as deeply falling in love with me too. I was somewhat worried about what I might be unconsciously doing to other people. Maybe that’s what enlightenment is supposed to be like, I thought. How do I go forward with new powers I seem to be developing in a responsible way? Was this ‘normal’? So much was unknown. I trusted I would be shown the way when the time comes.
Things started to drastically shift in around mid-March of this year. At the same time I had a few puzzling experiences of seeing and feeling ghost-like creatures enter me. This happened within a time period of a couple of weeks, in a presence of a man I meet at the holistic expo a year earlier. He suddenly re-emerged and apparently now wanted to hang out with me all the time. Within a month he became increasingly more possessive and manipulative. One time he told me he wanted a friend that would jump out of the window if he asked him to. Our friendship ended abruptly when confronted him with my growing suspicion that his interest in me is more than plutonic. When he started leaning toward me I got out of the car. He followed me. As I was walking away I felt a big energetic entity enter me from behind. It felt disgusting and extremely invasive.
Around that time I started to more frequently experience what felt as telepathy with other people, and soon, I was hearing voices even when I was home alone. I willingly believed that they belonged to spirit guides; my soul, even God/Goddess, as they claimed. They seemed benevolent. I liked their encouragement and helpful tips. I accepted that they were agents of the spiritual tribe, here to guide me. Communication from them was in voices of different characters of various age and gender. Sometimes messages came in as inserted thoughts.
Over time, they became bossier. Voices led me to believe that my spiritual brothers wanted me to follow their instructions. Still considering this a divine intervention, I paid attention and found a way to rationalize what was happening. When voices cheered me on to be a ‘Bull’, I figured I was encouraged to be more assertive and courageous – a good thing, considering I was chronically shy. I played that roll for a while. Voices convinced me to stop talking to my old friends and family. Looking back, I realize voices exploited masterfully my isolation. Voices said they had my book of life. Allegedly, I was groomed for my spiritual awakening and higher purpose, and I was not to waist time on what was unessential at the moment. The idea was that I would later re-enter the world as my more fully realize self.
When they announced that I was ‘God’, I tried to rationalize that this could be right, in a way, because there’s a spark of God in everyone. Voices proceeded to try to convince me that indeed I was ‘The God’. Therefore, they reasoned, I should be ‘an %¤#&!§-’ and rudely take what I want. They continued with their ‘guidance’, trying to promote competitiveness, pride, and cynicism. This was completely contrary to my value system. Fortunately, I had enough insight to hold back. Perhaps my character is been tested, I thought.
Frustrated with my defiance, they started to make fun of me whenever I said ‘thank you’, chanted mantra ‘it’s bull shit, it’s all bull shit’ whenever I was involved in anything loving or spiritual. It got so bad I could not carry on with my work as a healer. Explaining to my patients that I needed some time to work on my personal process, I quit my practice. I hopped that this ordeal would soon come to an end.
In fact, it was getting more bizarre by the day. Voices told me I should have a homosexual relationship; they said everybody was a ‘faggot’ (not my word) and I am too straight. Voices persisted and were trying to get me off-center in numerous other ways, with increasing intensity and vigor.
My priority in dealing with people has always been this: first, do no harm. Since I did not like the way voices wanted me to relate to people and did not want to oppose them either, I withdrew even more. As I saw my professional and personal life crumbled, I started giving less credence to what voices said. No matter whose agents they were, clearly they were not my friends. There was now an unmistakable anger and hatred in their tone.
My idea of spirit guides has always been that they are gentle and loving beings. It became crystally clear to me that the source of these voices was not of the Light. I asked, whatever these things are, to leave me alone. This infuriated voices and they showered me with horrible insults in the nastiest way I’ve ever heard, ever.
Concurrently, it seemed, some people started to avoid, even mock me, though mostly in covert ways. More and more people around me seemed to be channeling bizarre information supposedly about me. It felt as if I was very harshly judged, based on some perverted image of me or directive. Voices explained that everyone was lying to me, that all people are ‘bull-shitters’, and that since I didn’t like these games and also because I was unattractive, nobody wanted me, and that I should now ‘get the fuck out.’
In mid-May they claimed that I’m their shell and forbade all personal initiative. As far as they were concerned, any action, even thought, was a sin, punishable by a deluge of threats and insults. When I so much as hinted that I was suffering, they said: ‘Happy Birthday!’ I guess they thought it was funny.
I was hugely perplexed and enormously disappointed, to say the least. What a turn of events. One day I seemed to have a key to the city, and then crudely kicked out. Before long, devastated, I moved out from the city I moved into with so much enthusiasm just a year and a half earlier.
The voices did not disappear but continued their assault on me 24/7, wherever I went, whatever I did. It feels as if I was raised high into heavens, then dropped abruptly and driven way down to hell, and then been held there. Reasons remained unknown.
I still try to find how this can possibly be seen in a better light. Remembering biblical story of Job, I thought perhaps I was tested before a divine initiation would reach a happy climax. After several months, this torture continues.
I've considered that this might be some kind of an accelerated karmic cleansing, a purgatory. A month of this I would have credited with making me a better, more humane and compassionate person, but it's now way past that. It is making me literally ill. The situation doesn't make sense. I wonder now if some kind of grief mistake was made or if this is a deliberate act of pure evil. Without justification voices blame me for all kinds of random things. Within the same day they accuse me, in an absolute way, of being too nice and a jerk, too strong and too weak, a liar and too virtuous, an architect of all that is happening and a toy for 'ball-shitters' who invented all of this.
Unless there is a good, higher purpose for all of this that is yet to be revealed, as I hope would be the case, voices’ objectives became progressively clear: to torment me with feelings of anger, fear and guilt, drive me to self-destruction, even suicide, or at the least, make me crazy.
-- “Why?”
-- “We like it like that,” they say.
I realize that a traditional psychiatrist would most probably attribute my experience to a mental illness, case closed. The same diagnosis, by the way, he would give to anybody claiming to have communicated with spirits, angels or ascended masters, this means psychics, mediums and all who’ve had supernatural religious experience. Knowing what I know, I am certain there's more to it than a chemical disbalance or neurosis, which, I believe, if present, most likely are the consequence rather than the original cause. Also, I haven’t touched pot, or any hallucinogens I’ve used in the past as spiritual sacraments and medicine, for months, so I know this isn’t drugs induced either.
For years I've believed in benevolent God. I did not give much thought about evil spirits, though. I thought such creatures are fear-based concepts, fairy-tale characters, something to scare people into devotional practice with. Perhaps I was naïve to think this.
After a considerable research, and having spent several months observing the phenomena first hand, I now believe that I have been attacked by some incarnate entities with questionable moral agenda just as I was about to cross the next phase of my spiritual evolution.
I am sure now that most of what I previously perceived as telepathic messages from people belonged to the spirits. These entities cleverly set me up, perhaps at a hand of a few malevolent or merely careless people.
These entities elaborately manipulated my sensory input and brainwashed me in order to accomplish their goals. They were really good at this. For instance, in each place I’ve visited after leaving town, even a foreign country, voices tried to make it look like there too, people wanted me out. They’ve conditioned me to think that people coughing in my presence means they don’t like me, and produced a lot of coughing sounds for me to digest whenever I was in public. Since I don’t like being where I’m not wanted I’ve done quite a bit of traveling these few months. Voices almost convinced me that my old friends, even family, did not want me anymore, that the whole world wants me out. Eventually, I caught on to their tricks. As I rekindled some of my older relationships I found that I was very much missed and loved.
Sometimes voices tell me that the game is over, or that they’ve done their ‘cleaning’ job, or even that a mistake was made, but then a moment later they tell me that this will never end, and continue their assaults on me. I’ve learned not to believe what they say. They don't fool me any longer when it comes to the sounds coming from people around me. Thank God, I am much more grounded in reality and functional now than I've been in months.
I am in pain though, my loved ones are suffering too, people I could have been healing are not getting treated, but I am not going to kill myself, become an %¤#&!§-nor give up to the darkness in any other way. I am not afraid either. As I regained my sense of solid ground, I am now determined to find resolution.
Before you judge my intelligence for being influenced by these voices, I will remind you of a grand perspective. This happened to me in a time I was going through a great psycho-spiritual awakening; as a healer and meditator, daily, I have been experiencing things that were blowing my mind open and I wanted it, seeing it as a positive, enlightening and liberating development. I felt well supported, and my belief in benevolence of the universe and trust in people was growing stronger. Hence, I willingly let go into the abyss of unknown. There was a lot I did not understand and spirits came in with a promise of guidance. They were masters of seduction. They were all I wanted them to be… until they got a strong hold of me. When the courtship ended they proceeded to rape my mind with fear and delusion. If you never experienced anything like this, ‘The Game’ with Michael Douglas, or the story of Temptation of Saint Anthony, will give you a slight idea of what it could be like. The whole world fell apart.
Voices tell me that it’s all over for me. I don’t believe them. I believe I can prevail. I hope my story will encourage and assist some people going through similar experience, and that it will also invite some helpful feedback, which I welcome.
- Re: Evil Spirits. My story. Help W... #77203
17 y
8,961
This is a reply to # 1,018,768I understand what you are going through.
In my life I've met many people who are inspired and guided, yet none developed their egos to the level needed for such spiritual advancement, myself included, hence their attempts to develop their abilities led them to many hardships. It is akin to a car which gets a bigger faster engine, but keeps the same old tires and chasis. Serious problems follow.
First thing that I get from your text is that you are not aware of your own rights as a human being. You don't owe anything to those voices. If you were to concentrate on your connection with God, to the minutest little detail of your life, voices would disappear very quickly. That's what I mean by "Ego" - a healthy, functional ego well aware of her/his rights and place in this world. Also, a functional ego is not naive; it is a vehicle for our spiritual journey.
I never looked for spiritual advancement; as a matter of fact, every time I hear someone's amazing stories of spiritual initiation, I cringe as it has always proven to be a masking of deep emotional problems. True, those people did exibit some psychic abilites, more likely due to their problems then initiation though... (we all get inspired when we are in dire straits). The spiritual advancement to our life is like looking good, or loosing weight: for as long as that's the goal, we are on a slippery slope and results are misleading and often even dangerous. When our goal is contact with God, living the life that His son lived, being able to love the way Jesus did, then psychic initiation is a natural result. It cannot be a goal in itself.
Therefore, those who seak that as a goal, will find themselves trapped. I also like to compare this to "get rich quick" schemes. No one ever got rich with help of those schemes, yet people will fall for it every time.
In conclusion: what you thought was a spiritual awakenening or initiation was obviously a misguided and "fools paradise" type of event. If you humbly accept your own mistake and turn to God with your whole being, you will enter the real road to spiritualitiy. This requires constant self-abegnation in your internal speak and thoughts. This requires that you take 100% responsibility for everything that happened to you (not feeling anger or frustration at someone who you percieve the source of problem is true humbleness). Forget about some guy who sent you negative energy - those types are everywhere. Forget about this being just a little mistake - that's an excuse. Remember what your initial beliefs were, and compare them to current reality, and if those don't match, then you've just realized that you've made a fool of yourself. Accept it, and start from scratch. Start by reading Bible. Not as a path to stubborn adherence to what's in there, or to become a religious fanatic, but rather to learn that way to God is through humbelness. Don't confuse that with shyness which is usually misdirected (and opposite of) humbelness.
Again, get to know yourself, work on your ego first, learn about your own deepest desires which are obviously not Godly, and go from there. Accept that this can happen to anyone, and it does happen all the time, and that it's a valuable lesson. If you can recognize those well hidden traces of arrogance and pride that brought this about, you'll be well on your way to true happiness and spiritual development.
Best of luck and God bless.- Re: Evil Spirits. My story. Help W... bfree
17 y
8,766
This is a reply to # 1,018,821Thank you for your good wishes and well-meaning advice. I did not emphisize it in my story, for it wasn't the objective, but my spiritual journey have been and is driven by my call of duty to God, as I understand it. I did not seek psychic abilities, they came to me as a biproduct of my getting to know my true self and the will of God. I belive it is his will that I be a healer. I started this duty as a Physical Therapist. Over time I gained ability to facilitate healing process through less traditional, yet more effective and sustainable means. My goal have been to be a better channel of God's love and wisdom. I have a long list of patients who appreciate what I've done for them. That said, I've always attributed their transformation to God's will, maintaining that I'm just a channel. I've sucrified much to succeed in my role, including money, time and prestige. Perhaps I've opened up too much, too fast, and perhaps, it got uncomfortable for the members of the other side of spiritual spectrum.
I am in no way comparing myself in the rightiousness or purity with anyone else, but if you're well verseed in spiritual history then you know that many there were many good people tempted and/or tortured by evil forces, people who came under attack precisely for their good nature and will.
One thing these voices tell me which certainly does not insult me is that I'm 'too good'. They're trying to convince me that this world is created by 'bull-shitters'. I disagree. I say it's an amazing world, a genious creation of God, God of Love and Truth. It is unfortunate that it's often spoiled by lies and hatered, on human and spiritual levels. I've learned the bible, and have great respect for the great teachings presented there. I pray to God to lead me to all truth and to empower my life that I may live his will.
Peace.- Re: Evil Spirits. My story. Help W... #77203
17 y
8,890
This is a reply to # 1,018,854Your answer sounds very sincere, and is a pleasure to read. That being said, I think that you are now learning that no matter how much one advances in the "good" the equal amount of evil will follow.
My impression is that you ran into it for the same reason most other people run into evil: pure naivete. That's when we learn that being naive is not at all a benign problem, but a very serious problem.
My observations regarding our spiritual journey and psychic development is that our mind opens to what was not noticed before - good AND bad. We wish it's only good though, and don't always appreciate how dangerous the bad part is.
As an illustration I will mention that once when stuff was flying around my house, I was petrified like never before in my life, while last time I noticed something around my new place, I just sent a clear message that I did not want it here, that it was not welcome, whatever it was. It didn't bother me afterwards, but the first time it happened many years ago, I don't really think I would've been able to defend myself on my own. Luckily I had someone who's already been there and who did it for me successfully.
Keep in mind that bad influences which are connected to a place may be impossible to get rid of, while those which sort of "follow" us, shouldn't be too hard to get rid of.
In your place, I would carefully choose where to live (use your feelings to choose - usualy places close to the ocean are best), and then go from there.
As far as healing work, it should come about after you have aligned every atom of your being with God. When that happens, it is almost impossible for evil influences to approach you. Not recognizing how evil someone or some behavior is, proves that you are not there yet. This is not to put you down, more to explain what happened.
There is loads to learn in regards to God and spirituality, and maybe even more in regards to evil. However, this type of exposure to evil does make us more aware of it, helps us recognize it in time, and gives us experience (and rids us of fear) next time we have to deal with it. So, even with all it's negativity, it is a good experience to have. "That which didn't kill me made me stronger" applies here I think.
The person I contacted to help me with my evil spirits problem which was connected to my house, obviously had some prior first hand experience, as his only comment was "Oh, these things happen" as if I asked him why my lunch burned... :-)
Surround yourself only with positive stuff, this includes all the details of your life from types of commercials on TV to what you eat and who you are seeing regularly. Concentrate on God only, and by doing that you will crowd out whatever negativity is left. Also, do not ever respond to any voices, they will only leave once sure that you will no respond to their energy at all. Ignoring them is the best policy. If you were on the street and trying to get rid of a stubborn and pushy panhandler, the worst thing to do would be to ask him to leave you alone; but if you ignored him he'd know that nothing will be gained.
God bless
- Re: Evil Spirits. My story. Help W... bfree
17 y
8,784
This is a reply to # 1,019,042Thank you for your reply.
I think yoú are right on target as far as spiritual opening can lead one to an awareness of evil, not only good. I was indeed naive not to consider this. I believe I was clearly set up by some evil-minded people to be posessed by these spirits earlier this year. However, I think some, at least one or two, of these entities was with me prior to my gaining ability to hear them, judging by their evident familiarity with my life history. In fact, I even recall feeling a spirit enter me a few years ago, after a very stressful time in my life, which included a separation with an extrimelly posessive and controlling psychicly-gifted girlfriend.
Anyway, indeed my spiritual practice have opened me up as a channel, this gift, sadly, had a burden of being able to hear these spirits. I think this is exactly what attracted several more spirits, who utilized a community of people I opened up to over the last year and a half, seing them as gifted mediums, not considering that there may be evil lurking behind their spiritual tallent.
I also agree with your advice to limit my communication with these voices. In most cases it is conterproductive. I do it infrequently, mostly when I feel overwhelmed by their insults, to assert my personal power, and also when I feel overwhelmed by their quilt-ridden insinuations, to assert my value sistem, but increasingly, I am able to remain grounded and true to myself without having to make any statements in responce to what these tourmentors say.
As for the place to live, I like the seaside too, and that is where I live. Unfortunatelly, these things are in me. I´ve tested this by not only traveling literally on the other side of the earth (New Zealand) but also by scuba diving over sixty feet deep. Neither made much difference.
Thank you again.
Peace.
- Re: Evil Spirits. My story. Help W... bfree
17 y
8,784
- Re: Evil Spirits. My story. Help W... traderdrew
17 y
8,555
MoreThis is a reply to # 1,018,854That is an interesting story bfree. I don't pretend to really understand what you went through. I do know there are evil spirits out there and this being the case, deception is a primary weapon in their arsenal. I believe evil spirits have deceived the masses and especially our governments, schools and religious organizations. When they haunt you then you can rebuke them in the name of the Lord Jesus. I am sure you will find this very effective. Also realize that there is scripture in the new testament that says that salvation doesn't automatically come with rebuking these entities.
I was wondering. Let me ask you something. I am interested in energy and I believe thoughts are energy and manifest themselves partly in the form of frequencies. I was thinking if you eliminate negative frequencies and use thoughts support a positive state of mind, you may experience states of enlightenment and peace that you describe. Does this make sense?- Re: Evil Spirits. My story. Help W... bfree
17 y
8,695
This is a reply to # 1,019,232traderdrew,
Thank you for your responce. Indeed, it turns out they exist. I never gave evil much of my though, being much more into the being of light and spirit guides. The cercumstances forced me to face another side of the spiritual realm.
I am convinced that you are right in your hypothesis that they have influenced some of the most essential aspects of our society. Since this affliction, I´ve learned about things such as Illuminati, who are apparently a Satanic group wanting to bring a New World Order. The evidence I aquired by my own experience doesn´t yet go so far as to substantiate such claim, but this is clear: I was set up to be posessed by spirits by people, some of whome are in elite, spiritual teachers, artists, professors, even doctors.
It appears rebuking these entities in the good name of Lord Jesus Christ is too late. I´ve been attempting to do so over the past month, with little success. Apparently, they´ve gotten a strong hold on me. They are not around, but clearly in me. Nevertheless, I continue to renounce them and their efforts, as they try to convince me of their legitimate claim on me; justification ran a gammut, from this all being a joke to them claiming me as their inferior and serving them as a shell, to them being my punishers for my supposed sins.
As you might have guessed by now, I´m very much into the positive attitude and loving kindness, unfortunatelly these things are laughable as far as these creatures are concerned. It is becomming increasingly apparent that a hard-core tactic, such as exorcism is required. That is what I am looking for now, after months of attempting a softer new-agy techniques.
With gratitude.
Peace.
- Re: Evil Spirits. My story. Help W... bfree
17 y
8,695
- Re: Evil Spirits. My story. Help W... #77203
17 y
8,890
- Re: Evil Spirits. My story. Help W... bfree
17 y
8,766
- Re: Evil Spirits. My story. Help W... ocinca
17 y
8,787
MoreThis is a reply to # 1,018,768Your story of being mislead by various voices from being kind to being evil sounds very much like what I read by Howard Storm called "My Descent Into Death: A Second Chance at Life". He had a near death experience and described how very loving people of various ages came to him. Then as they led him away from the hospital room and then started to become rude and pushy. Eventually, after they pulled him far away, they were out right mean and cruel. Saying very awful and personal things.
I agree with the prior post. Get yourself centered and find God and Jesus.
They are evil, no doubt. And evil hates Jesus.
By the way, Howard Storm is now a minister.
Good luck.
My heart is with you.
Kenny- Re: Evil Spirits. My story. Help W... bfree
17 y
8,623
This is a reply to # 1,018,836ocinca,
Thank your for your reply. This book sounds great. I just placed an order for it and am looking forward to reading it.
God bless - Re: Evil Spirits. My story. Help W... bfree
17 y
8,409
This is a reply to # 1,018,836Thanks again for this rec. I've read the book after you suggested it a while back and decided to go back to the forum and report my openion, since it might serve others researching the internet for help. It's a very good book, I don't know how much artistic liberty Rev. Storm took in describing his going into heavenly realm and having a discourse with Jesus, but I suspect that essentially this is a true story, and once that certainly enlightened my situation. It has many lessons and played it's role in my deliverance, but one of most immediate and significant is that it discouraged me from 'taking an easy way out,' cause, as per this book, it's not that easy at all, and for not-saved, it can be literally hellish, perhaps even eternally so. Thank you again.
God bless.- Re: Evil Spirits. My story. Help W... #92144
16 y
8,466
This is a reply to # 1,072,903I have learned a great deal about this and found what works above all things from experience and very very wise advice.
Yes there is evil, both outside of us but moreover already WITHIN us. Everyone has "evil spirits" within - they are referred to in the new age as the "ego," but more accurately as "egos" in modern gnosis, also seven deadly sins, red demons of seth in egypt etc etc etc.
Our silent awareness or consciousness is the real us - the thoughts and emotions, drives, impulses etc are from the egos or sometimes external "spirits" who influence them. The internal egos are really just part of natures program of the animal kingdom but "evil" because they are ultimately destructive to us. They have developed more complex because of the mind.
They exist separately and can be seen sometimes when having an out-of-body experience, and certainly enter our minds as thoughts. Children can sometimes see them as ghosts while falling asleep and many adults can clearly hear the voices while going to sleep too.
They enter our body in different places depending on the type (thoughts enter the head, emotions enter the heart or solar plexus, motor function at the base of the head, instincts in the lower spine, and lust in the groin - this is important to remove because it's so powerful and can create strong entities called succubi and incubi, however sexual energy itself is divine and so should be used for spiritual not animal purposes)
It is possible to destroy ego's with intense internal prayer but to the female aspect of God, the Divine Mother. Whenever these voices are present ask for them to be disintegrated or however you feel more comfortable asking. This has the potential to change your whole being if you use it whenever you are not in awareness (this is part of the real way to become like Jesus, but meeting him would certainly be helpful)
External Spirits -
Because this all started from visiting a "spiritual" expo, you probably have been attacked by negative forces, because most people there are channeling or going along with negative forces believing them to be good because they sound good or know of certain truths.
In this case there are phrases that work to send them away, from the Christian "our father" prayer and prayers of other religions, to others learnt while out of the body taught in gnosis, but one of the best is getting yourself a plant called "agave americanum" or "century plant" which has always been used as protection for 1000's of years. You can ask the elemental of that plant to protect you, and it certainly does, although it sounds crazy.
I have tried all of these and found them to work very powerfully, i have even consciously fought demons while out of the body and have changed internally alot overcoming many personal defects etc.
The best and most sensible group i have ever come across that changed my life are GNOSTICWEB.COM who teach free courses and have forums etc with many experienced people giving help on many topics. I really recommend visiting to attend the forums or do the courses which is where tried and tested information is given in detail. Better yet it is a non-profit organization, so no one there is motivated by money, which is comforting :)
Although your situation is negative at the moment, it can open the door to a much larger world...
- Re: Evil Spirits. My story. Help W... #92144
16 y
8,466
- Re: Evil Spirits. My story. Help W... bfree
17 y
8,623
- My story #41561
17 y
9,269
R
This is a reply to # 1,018,768You know..I cant really explain exactly what is happening to you..but I can tell you that one time in my life, I was possessed by an evil spirit, for a period of maybe two to three weeks. I drank a lot back in the day, and was losing site of who I was. Loosing my connection to God, and the light. To what makes me special and always has.
Let me tell you some of my story and hopefully it will help.
I was tormented by what I can only describe as very weak demons as a child. They didnt physically hurt me but scared me and manipulated me often. Sometimes I would see them, other times I would just feel their presence. I spent most of my early childhood in fear and darkness. I went through some innapropriate things as a child {dont want to call it outright molestation because my memory is sketchy, but from what I remember something innapropriate did happen to me and Ill just leave it at that}. I believe these dark sources recognized a weak spot in me and took advantage, playing off my fear, and stealing my energy and light. Every since I can remember Ive felt "different" than other people. {or most other people, people who I was around} I was always very different from my family. Ever since I was very small I felt a great sense of purpose and a connection to something, but as a young child I didnt know what {I was raised by athiest parents who were very non spiritual and didnt really believe in anything other than the physical, very closed off to all that is around us}. This difference I felt in myself as a child was a great source of Depression for me. Of course now that I realize there are many other people like me out there its a source of love and happiness, but the full story of how I got here would be too long to tell now.
When I was an older child I met a friend who's family was very spiritual, deeply faithful christians. I was able to tell my friends father of how the demons tormented me and how scared I was. He was the first adult who ever listened to me and recognized my fears as legitimate. He told me that I was one of Gods chosen children, that there were many of us, and that God had opened our eyes. That demons feed off people like us but not if we were too strong to. That god would protect me if I just turned to his light. So I did. These friends began praying for my protection and the most beautiful peace came over my life. I remember feeling the presence of God {and my guardian angels} intensely. The fear left me. It was like night and day.
I went through many trials and tribulations and suffered greatly throughout my teenage years. They took their toll on me and I was treated for suicidal depression. {not treated WELL mind you but thats another tale as well}. Anyway, everything I went through as a teen eventually led me to drugs, then worse drugs, then alcohol. I went in and out of the light often, and found and lost touch with my protective god often. God never left me but I turned my back on God many times.
So sometime during my 22nd year, as I said, I was drinking, a LOT. I was not living right. I was losing that sheild I had cloaked myself with that protected me from these dark entities. And at the time I didnt really care. I was ending a relationship with someone I really loved {someone VERY special himself, its too long to tell his story here but lets just say he was touched as well, and a very naturally gifted healer}, but we were both into drugs and alcohol and our relationship was not working out. He was still my friend though and probably one of the few people who actually cared about me.
I cannot pin point the time when it started. Or where it came from. I just know...at some point I realized I didnt feel "right". At all. And trust me, with my history of Depression and drug use, etc, I have felt all kinds of weirdness, but TRUST ME..when I say "not right" I really mean something was going on. It started as what I can only describe as not being able to "feel" my heart. Understand I have always been a very sensitive and compassionate woman, the kind who cries at the thought of animals being hurt, who feels pain almost physically watching another suffer. But suddenly, it was like..my compassion was literally gone. I felt..nothing. I wondered why..I even thought about animals at the slaughterhouse to sorta test myself {something that brings me to tears and sometimes even makes me physically ill normally} and..nothing. I felt..cold.
I also noticed I was starting to have strange desires..I wanted to hurt men. I wanted to seduce them and then hurt them..both physically and emotionally..obviously I didnt pursue the physical part..but I found myself wanting to use my cute 22 year old looks and charm to lure men into loving me and then crush them. The desire to do this was overwhelming. It would come over me and I would find myself, out at the bars, acting in ways and saying things to men that were really not like me at all..drunk or not.
The next thing I noticed was I no longer had the desire to eat. This was beyond strange for me, Im 110 pounds and have the hunger of a lion normally. Ive also always been a bit hypoglycemic and usually get sick without eating. But I had no apetite and sometimes wouldnt eat for days. I found myself smoking a lot of cigarettes instead..which I did smoke before but nowhere near as heavily. It always made me feel sort of sick when not drinking..
I began feeling...well very odd when talking to people. Like I was sitting back watching myself and hearing myself but I wasnt even controlling what I was saying. This should have scared me..like I said the whole time I very much recognized something wasnt right but in my mind I was just like "haha..thats weird!"..then I would think it was weird that I wasnt more freaked out by it.
I began waking up in the middle of the night with the feeling someone had their hand around my heart and was squeezing it..it felt I was drained of energy.
Then it happened..one night..I got up to use the restroom. I looked in the mirror at myself..and just..stared. I saw what I can only describe as..what I truly looked like. I dont mean the mask of physical existance but I saw myself. There was..a being..leached onto the entire top part of my head, about halfway down my face..its body was visible on the top but it was UNDER the skin of my forhead..my forehead was and face were swollen with its attached body under the skin..my face was covered in pussy boils...I cannot even describe to you what this creature was only that it had the texture of what you would imagine a flies body to look like. I wasnt even scared. I wasnt even me anymore. I just looked at it. Then I went back to bed.
The next day is a blur to me. I was completely out of control of my own life by that point but this thing was very manipulative and charming and knew how to control me so that no one would know I wasnt fine. But I was begining to develop physical changes that no one seemed to notice. I had scratches on my cheeks. I dont recall scratching myself, all I can think is I did it unconciously in my sleep. My family paid no attention to me and my friends at the time were all drunks so no one cared.
As I said, that day was a blur, but through some chain of events, and Gods watchful presence, I ended up in a parking lot with my ex boyfriend {the special one}. We were having a fight about something..and his presence was the only thing that made me, ever so slightly, "feel" myself, and my heart. I was still out of control, and being quite mean to him and telling him to leave, but when he tried to, some part of me told him not to. Over and over telling him not to leave. I believe that was the last bit of me I had left.
He took me to his house and we didnt talk on the way. Inside I remember wanting to scream. Once we got inside, I collapsed. The next thing I remember is him saying oh my god and crying. He could see it. I remember him sobbing and saying he was so sorry he never saw it.
He had the power of God in him very strong, and he preformed only what I can recall as some sort of excorcism on me. I was concious through all of it, but what a strange conciousness it was. The demon didnt like this at all. It had many tricks, one of which included making an illusion of worms crawling out of my face. I could feel them and I screamed and screamed. My friend was there with me in the bed, calling on God and all that is good to cast out the evil spirit. To make sure it knew it wasnt welcome. He did more than call god, I remember him looking right in my {its} eyes and telling it very threateningly to LEAVE me that it was not welcome. This was very strange...feeling "its" emotions and mine at the same time. At one point it started going nuts, and I was thrashing about laughing hysterically {no idea why the laughter}, fits of shaking, the worms like I said, sobbing and yelling fits. Well at some point I could physically feel where it was leached to my head. its emotions grew even more enraged. I was in physical pain at that point, in fact I thought I might die, it felt like my head was boiling, my skin was boiling. I remember crying and saying I was burning and steam coming off.
The next thing I knew, I felt it seperate, both emotionally and physically, and with an odd buzzing sound, we both heard and felt it {it was invisible at that point but you could sorta "see" its energy in the air if that makes sense} and it took off out the room. The pain in me completely left. I cried and cried but it was the greatest sense of peace Ive maybe ever felt. I felt God touch me and tell me he had me.
After that I ate a dinner enough to last a normal person 4 meals..with the greatest joy. Food had never felt so good. I felt completely normal again..like myself. Everything seemed bright and beautiful. I was walking around in awe of flowers and the sky, it was like I was reborn.
About a week later that same entity tried to come back and attack me when I was alone at my house, but I fought it off. I recognized its energy now and it would never have an opportunity to sneak in like before. This is not the only time I have been attacked by dark spiritual entities. There has been other experiances, but I now know immediately when something doesnt "feel right" to fight and fight hard. I also keep in close contact with my God and my personal spirit guides, who are there to help and protect me.
This happened when I was 22 and Im now 25. I cant tell you the amount of changes Ive had in my life since then. I have given up smoking, drinking, drugs, am working on myself physically, mentally and spiritually and I know I will never turn away from God again.
I dont even know what might have happened to me had I not had a friend who happened to be there who knew how to tell an evil spirit to get the hell out of a person. It is things like this circumstance that make me trust that everything happens for a reason and God does put us in the right place at the right time to protect us, if we are willing to reach out and take that guidance.
You are being manipulated and harrassed by unwelcome entities. You are obviously not possessed the way I was, but you MUST fight back now. Turn to whatever God it is you worship {people have many names for the Gods or the allmighty god but its your faith and love that matters, not what you call him}, but overall, be in the light. Despise the dark and the dark things these entities will try and get you to say, do or think. Tell them, sternly and strongly that they are NOT welcome. Ignore them when they try to manipulate you and learn to recognize their manipulations for what they are. I do believe that God can speak to people and does {God has spoken to me} but its a feeling in your heart that should overwhelming you with love, and you KNOW when you are looking towards the light. Darkness will try anything to convince you they are Gods, but in reality they are a thousand times weaker and full of fear and insecurity, that is why they are so manipulative. God or his angels would never say the things these spirits have said to you. They are LIARS. Period.
It is not over for you. Pray to God, reach out to the light. Live breathe and BE love. These beings despise love as its something they never will experiance or even understand. They are the opposite of love. They want you to think its over for you because they want to break you down mentally to the point where they can use you {see with me because I was such a drunk at the time they didnt even really need to, they just saw an opportunity to sneak in and went for it}. You are so much stronger than them they just dont want you to know that!
Dont worry about being judged. If I had told anyone about my possession experiance they would have either laughed or been concerned I was schitsophrenic{sp?}. People fear what they dont understand and put labels on things that scare them. I am far from mentally ill, most people who know me would never even believe such a thing could have happened to me. I am a functioning member of society, a step parent, a member of the work force, etc. If I can go from the darkness Ive been in to where I am now, there is so much hope for you.
I will be praying for you. A lot. Please respond and let me know if you would like to chat on a more personal level. I have instant messengers.
May God and his light bless and protect you. <3- very powerful story, thanks for shar... Yeti
17 y
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- Re: very powerful story, thanks for ... Trysten3000
17 y
8,502
This is a reply to # 1,021,983Ooops! In trying to reply, I accidentally just hit "bad message" to your post! Sorry! I hope that doesnt do anything bad!
Anyways all I was going to say is I hope the OP is okay..she hasnt come back to respond.
- Re: very powerful story, thanks for ... Trysten3000
17 y
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- Re: My story bfree
17 y
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This is a reply to # 1,021,898Thank you so much for for this open and extensive telling of your own story. Your experience validates mine and your success encourages my fight.
I don´t have an IM, but you can privately reach me at realhelpline at gmail dot com.
Best wishes!- Thanks for responding Trysten3000
17 y
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This is a reply to # 1,030,011I attempted to email you, hopefully I got the email address right.
Im glad to see you are back posting again, I was a little worried.
<3
- Thanks for responding Trysten3000
17 y
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- Re: My story bfree
17 y
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This is a reply to # 1,021,898I found a little more time (before my flight home) and so decided to revisit your exellent responce. This is a first day I have access to Internet so please forgive me for such a long delay.
Similar to you, I had grew up in a family far from religion and spirituality. Sounds like the episode a few years ago was a really close one for you. You are so fortunate to have had your boyfriend near you and found a strength, wisdom and humility to ask him to stay, when a deeply influential part of you that was posessed wanted him out of your life. Chrisianity is a fairly new spiritual path for me. It always seemed very restrictive and dogmatic, so although I much respected Jesus and appreciated his teachings I shyed away from the organized religion, favoring Easter and New Age approaches instead. However, in light of what´s happening to me, I am drawn to give it a more thorough investigation. It seems to best explain the phenomenae happening to me and also offer an apparently effective solution -- exorcism.
Buddhist-inspired loving kindness meditation, New Age techniques utilizing visualizations, Shamanic and energy healing, friendly psychospiritual spirit release strategies all failed so far. Of all written material, Chrisian seem to elicit the most passionate responce in the entities tourmenting me, which I hope, is indicative of my getting closer to the key of salvation.
I am now looking for an exorcist who can assist me in the process. I would really appreciate if you or anyone reading this post can recommend how I can find one. FYI, I am now in New York City area, and will be visiting South California later this year. I would think there´s got to be a good and capable Chrisian ministers in at least one of these places.
Thank you again for your story, advice and prayers.
Very warmly,
bfree
- Re: My story #52758
17 y
8,710
This is a reply to # 1,030,154Hiya!
When I first read your story, I've been wondering how can I assist you in the best way possible. For days, I've been sending you well wishes. We have similar life-changing experiences in the regard to beautiful transformation in addition to Divine Love/Oness, etc. I don't have evil entities telling me things BUT I've had awful experiences that could possibly rival your same experiences. I too have a similar background with spirituality and religion.
I'd like to share some powerful words with you that are ancient that could be of some assistance. I've said them when encountering things and has seemed to help greatly. It is said that the following is so powerful that the vibration of Light can only hold it -- we are made up of this vibration as well -- all loving and divine beings throughout the Universes know this vibration and are invited into your presence when you chant the following:
"KODIOSH KODOISH KODOISH ADONAI TSEYBAYOTH" -- translation, "HOLY HOLY HOLY IS THE LORD GOD OF HOSTS"
Thoroughly study the words Holy and Hosts, and every word in the above.
In my studies, I 've come to learn that the word YHWH (Yod Heh Vod Heh) was substituted for God by Christianity. The Hebrew 4-letter-name for God is very powerful and has great meaning (something worth studying and you'll find that there are variations in spelling). It came to me that perhaps centuries ago people were restricted from saying the original name to take away their Light and Connection for dumbing down purposes. It may be worth it, to say the words aloud (repeatedly) and feel the power for yourself. I think you may get it and it could possibly help.
Lastly, this one of the oldest and ancient mantras around that you might be familiar with of Buddhist origin:
Hari om namo narayana
Good luck and I wish you the very best.
- Re: My story bfree
17 y
8,550
This is a reply to # 1,030,192Thanks for your insights and warm thoughts.
I like the hebrew prayer you mentioned. I will recite it.
As for the tetragramation, as long as I've known about it I too found it fascinating. In college, I took a course on the modern interpretation of the bible and for it, did a study on YHWH which I later presented in the essay. There are indeed several interesting explanations of it's meanig. The most accepted is that it stands for 'past, present, future', which essentially makes an eternity -- quite appropriate for a God. Traditionally Jews considered this name too holy to pronounce, and whenever reciting a Torah, pronounced Ha Shem - The (Great) Name, instead, whenever they encounter these letters in the screptures. Many Christians agree. Contrary to this openion, Jehovah's Witnesses not only named their movement after this name but consider pronouncing it an essential part of worship. I have hurd that some Kabbalists aspire to learn to pronounce it correctly. This, allegedly, can spiritually enable one to perform miracles.
Personally, as with some of the other ambiguities, I find these disagreements within JudeoChristian community frastrating. I honestly want to know and follow the will of true God. Without a personal revelation, the best it seems I can do is make an educated guess. Sometimes I wonder if that's the point. Perhaps the Lord wants to see what choices we make and perhaps even more importantly, why, when there's no clarity.
Peace.- Re: My story * (edit) #52758
17 y
8,669
This is a reply to # 1,031,339About 2 years ago, I was introduced to the Hebrew prayer and said it regularly, particularly before going to bed or doing meditation and prayers. Shortly after learning about it I had an interesting experience with unknown entities that came to me who wanted to use my body. I said the prayer firmly over and over again, and they left. I've since used it but very lightly.
At the beginning of the year I had an amazing spiritual opening that occurred for me too. In the past 2 weeks I've started to step up the prayers because of certain circumstances. The night before I made my post to you I decided to use the tetragrammaton and felt some amazing energy around me. This is when it occurred to me that this has been hidden from people. What you've said I feel is on point.
Peace to you too.
/////
Instead of doing a new post, I decided to add here. I could’ve easily used my regular ID, but didn’t. Actually, it doesn’t matter because I’m of sound mind and don’t care what others think.
The below poster mentioned schizophrenia as a possible affliction. At first I had to laugh because I know what occurred. I can also see why that person would jump to the conclusion as they did because I made a quick post, was tired, and really didn’t explain myself fully by leaving things open for interpretation. I have no one to blame except for myself.
If in fact, my situation was an ongoing basis as a problem the poster could be correct, but this is not my situation. The advice might be sound if it were a continual problem or known psychosis, and if that were the case, I wouldn’t be in a position to offer a suggestion. My experience was a one-time occurrence which never happened again. It also happened in a dream state when vulnerabilities can occur and the presence of “whatever” was overwhelming. I’ve spoken to other people about it and was told that those kinds of things can happen either during meditation or in an opened state. This is the very reason why I suggested the tetragrammaton because it is powerful.
Any person doing heavy-duty spiritual work or sensitive enough will encounter unexplained things. There are spiritual tests that happen- it is part of development- good and evil exists everywhere and there are choices that come with it. I’ve seen/experienced things that no one else can explain and there were plenty of people who witnessed the same occurrence.
To the person who suggested schizophrenia, does that mean because you don’t experience something that it should be quickly dismissed? What about these “unexplained”….signs for schizophrenia?
Is that like delusional parasites and given prescribed psychotic drugs?
Is that like when healing/prayers are being done for a person and a heavy scent of roses suddenly occurs? [No one is wearing perfume and no flowers in the room.] Where did the scent come from- made it up from the depths of deranged minds?
Is that like when a person will feel or see a Heavenly presence?
Is that like when a person will feel or see an “off” or evil presence?
Is that like when someone is driving down the street and “something” tells them to urgently make a turn, and they find out later there was a deadly accident on the street about the same time they were there? Was the “something” a good or bad thing or made up from derangement?
Is that like when people who go into deep trances and things happened, that can’t be explained? Are they possessed or not?
Is that like experiencing the most overwhelming love [for everyone/everything] that came out of “nowhere” and bathed in it for long periods of time? Delusions of love?
Is that like “magical” or “bad luck” events that can happen, at anytime or on a continual basis?
Is that like having a “vision”?
Is that like “speaking in tongues” or is it called babbling?
Is that like poltergeist events?
Is that like when a pet barks or hisses at something that you can’t see, but a strange feeling is felt? What about a marked temperature change in a corner of the room? Imagination?
Is that like when an event in dream occurs and it turns out to be true? How does that happen- from the mind- or real?
Is that like someone saying that they can live off of air, without food?
Is that like someone who claims they are in their hundreds but don’t look a day over 50?
Is that like seeing auras or energy around people but no one else can?
Is that like believing a person can be healed by diet alone- pH?
All questions, of course. Does that mean someone should be thought of as unstable with a deranged mind? Are those Signs of schizophrenia because you can’t explain them? I think jumping to conclusions is a dangerous thing especially when we don’t have all the pieces of information or don't fully understand an occurrence.
I know of someone whose upbringing was the strictest of all the Catholic religions. Occult type of things were forbidden and never considered. They also were a sound and prosperous business person. They suddenly became ill. They claimed that angelic presences came to them, healed them, and afterwards received a “gift” that is very unusual- no one else can replicate it. This person traveled the world to seek the help of Jesuits, Shamans, healers, doctors, and specialists. No one can account for the “gift”. They’ve also experienced weird phenomenon and not so pleasant occurrences too. Does this mean that this person is also deranged after being checked out by so many experienced people when they are able to replicate the gift hundreds of times without fail? What about all the experts who examined this person- are they deranged too? Again, all questions that no one can answer. I’ve been told that the Clergy of the highest order are the most secure about knowing these kinds of mysterious happenings- everyday priests, on the other hand, would be more skeptical only because they don’t have the information or lack experience.
The original poster can’t account for the events in their life, does that mean schizophrenia too? Something to think about with an open-mind because anything is possible. Not everything in this world can be explained away so quickly.
- Expand 20 messages, 21 to 40 of 61 #67751
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- Re: My story * (edit) #52758
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- Re: My story bfree
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- Re: My story #52758
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- very powerful story, thanks for shar... Yeti
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- Re: Evil Spirits. My story. Help W... #77203
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