Ho #53710 ,

I can quite understand how you feel. It seems to boil down to a low self-esteem, that seems to have all sorts of social consequences.

Contrary to popular opinion having a low self-esteem is not ALWAYS IN THE MIND. One can have a negative self-image if you are constantly bombarded with stress hormones due to an internal flaw of metabolism, quite beyond the control of the conscious mind. This happen often with people who suffer from hypoglycemia.

This is a condition that can be tested medically with the following test:

The four hour medical Test for Hypoglycemia explained at:

http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au/articles/testing_hypoglycemia.html

This test is different from the usual test for diabetes, hence most doctors may not be familiar with it.

An alternative home test is

The Nutrition-Behavior Inventory Questionnaire (NBI) at:

http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au/articles/nutrition-behavior_inventory.html

so you might try this out first. If your score is high it is likely that you have a metabolic disorder that can contribute to a low self-esteem.

Please see:

Treatment of a Low Self-Esteem at:

http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au/psychotherapy/self_esteem.html

and read the follow up articles. We also have a

Self-help PSYCHOTHERAPY course at;

http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au/i-psychotherapy.html

that may help overcome a negative self-image.

I hope I have been helpful.

_______________________________________________
Jurriaan Plesman BA (Psych) Post Grad Dip Clin Nutr
Editor of
The Hypoglycemic Health Association of Australia.

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Author of "Getting off the Hook"
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This is related to your childhood... at sometime during your childhood you were tramatized by an incident...

Usually difficulties in expressing oneself is related to the 5th chakra... this is the center in the body that is located at the throat...

The paternal father is assiociated with this chakra [mother is related to the 2nd]... problems that are relative to the father manifest in this chakra... in the thyroid gland. This is the center for creative expression... for expressing yourself in various ways.

The problems associated with this are generated out of fear... the fear to be yourself... which leads to the fear of success... the fear of failure... the fear to speak in front of others... the fear to express yourself artistically [dancing is creative expression of the body]... this usually results in people saying that you are 'shy'... since people are afraid to express themselves emotioally, as well.

There is nothing good in being 'shy'. It simply shows that you have a fear to be who you are... you have been conditioned to believe that you are not worthy... to love or to be loved by others ... this does not allow the energy to move freely within oneself... eventually this will lead to other physical and mental problems as well.

To resolve this... you will have to examine your life during your childhood... look at any incidents involving your father that remained impressionable to you over the years [this should not be so difficult to remember- as they will stand out].

These incidents will usually result in your feeling bad about something you did or did not do and was disciplined for it... this will have also cause the individual to have buried some emotions along with this. Anger, sadness are emotions that typically are not allowed full expression. When these are repressed... they are pussed back into the body-mind mechanism and held there which can cause other problems later.

Going back time and time again to look at any such event is the best way to bring it to the surface... once it is dug up and its roots are exposed to the light of your awareness... is enough to have it disolve away on its own... It will not be like an instant coffee cure, but if you go back time and time again to examine such events and try to understand why it lead to your fear of expression... it will slowly slowly resolve on its own.

If you find that you have emotions arising from this self-examination of yourself, then you may need to find some space so you can express these as they arise...
I would think putting on some music and dancing out the emotions as your find them is a good way... beat on a couch cushion to help with the anger... scream into a pillow if you feel you need to do that... but you should help your body rid itself of the pent-up emotions in some way... it is suggested not to continue to keep yourself from epressing emotions... they are a part of who you are... allowing them to be expressed will allow them to be finished with you too.

Energy needs to move... if it is prevented from moving by pushing it down... back inside of yourself... it will become perverted... it will find other ways of expressing itself that will not be the natural way... it eventually may cause physical problems or other mental problems for yourself later on down the line [if not already].

Check out the Iodine supplementation forum. The supplementation of Iodine has been found to assist the body in removing emotional traumas that have been retained within the body-mind mechanism.
//www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=923122
//www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=911606#i

You have been conditioned to not love yourself... that there is something wrong with you... you have to refute such ideas... every child has been mistreated to some degree by parents, family members and teachers, priests or other part of the society.
You are not alone in this.

To come out of it is to first become aware of why and from where the problem has come to you... for there is nothing wrong with you... your innocence has been stripped from you... understanding is key... then love yourself... totally love yourself...

Unconsciousness is the only disease... Love -the only cure.

read another post that has some relevance:
//www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=935432#i

peace to you.

My heart goes out to you. I suffered from social anxiety for years. I had counselling, tried drugs etc but they got me nowhere. I was so bad I couldn't leave the house for a couple of years.

The roots/causes of social anxiety are complex. Certainly, as the other responders to this message have pointed out, low self-esteem and childhood traumas are major contributing factors. One thing I've found is that, however hard it might seem at the time, you've got to face up to those situations you feel uncomfortable in. The more you avoid them, the worse they will become. Another important thing to remember is that even when you feel horribly self-conscious and ill at ease, people are unlikely to be that much aware of it. Sometimes I've told people about my social anxiety and they've been astonished. They've often taken me to be a confident sort of bloke. Most people are so wrapped up in themselves and so worried about what others think of them (i.e. people just like us) they seldom have time to closely observe other people's behaviour.

Remember that everyone has got their hang ups too. Although not all people have social anxiety you can be pretty sure that most of them, at least at some point in their lives, have suffered or suffer from some kind of psychological issue.Also remember that no one(apart from yourself, maybe) expects you to be perfect and if you were they'd probably like you less .

It may take years to heal, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. This problem ,if only you knew it, is in fact a blessing in disguise. It is the manifestation of a deeper part of yourself that is seeking to be acknowledged and understood. Eventually, if you are patient, one day you'll uncover this part of yourself and your life will be much richer for it.

Everyone is different, but for me the thing which helped me most was the discovery of vipassana meditation. This transformed my life and gave me the strength and the insight to face my demons. I can't recommend it too highly. Check out
http://www.dhamma.org.
The Vipassana Trust is a charity orgainzation and the courses are free. They are non-religious although the meditation technique itself is a Buddhist one.

Anotther thing that might help you in the short term are Bach flower remedies. For anxiety I've found Sweet Chestnut to be the most effective. Rescue remedy is not bad also. You can use them as a crutch when you've got to face uncomfortable situations. Load up on them if you want. They aren't drugs-you can't O.D. on them or become addicted to them. Slowly over time as you gain in confidence you'll find you don't need them anymore.

Hope this helps a bit. Good luck and enjoy your journey.

Hi 53710 :)

I have social anxiety disorder too, in a major way. I don't even feel comfortable at family parties (of course I happen to come from a large family 4 bros, 4 sisters). I find the whole experience very difficult. I've spend a fair amount of time in my life trying to figure out just what it is about parties that people think is fun. I'd rather go to the dentist. And I'm like you too, everyone likes me, I make friends easily.

If I were in your position, I'd do a couple of things to empower myself. First, I'd stop feeling like it was a problem and start focusing on how to think positive, and some develop skills.

You could start 'preparing' yourself in advance of any social occasion. Make a list of things to talk about, then think of ways to make that conversation more interesting to the other person. "Hey, I went camping last week, saw a bear - have you ever seen much wildlife?" I'd also think of some jokes to have onhand for when conversation dies. Think about the people that you know that will be at this event, and imagine their interests. Then develop some questions about specifics in their lives. "Joanne, I heard you were studying to be a respiratory therapist, that's so cool. What part of that job will interest you the most, do you think?"

Everyone (except people like you and I) are happy to talk about themselves. Get them talking! You can master this form of communication and learn to feel comfortable. People will come away liking you even more too - because you listen to them and take thoughtful interest in their lives.

You mentioned dancing. This one is easy - no really it is! Take some dancing lessons and don't dance at a party until you're confident. You can become a total dancing pro if you keep at this. You don't have to spend money. At the next dance, find someone that you know would be a good friend, male or female, that could show you some tricks. Then practice. Also, I know there are a ton of dance lesson videos out lately - look them up on ebay for cheap.

When you've arrived at a social event, and before you've gotten out of the car. Take a few minutes... calm yourself. Tell yourself "I can do this". Sometimes when I've been extra nervous before a party, I've taken some advil or aspirin, just to help myself calm down a little. A good idea is to knock off caffeine for that day too.

I hope these ideas help you. I can envision you being the best dancer there, and smiling while you're having a genuine good time at the party! carrie

I had it real bad...but I had Acne scars so attributed that to it alot....then I was diagnosed with Candida and after I treated it, my anxiety went WAY down...I believe Candida affects overall anxiety, so socially it really shows up-little things really bug you....ever look into posibility Candida may be a problem.