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Gotta start all over again--strike 1
“Your life is the sum result of all the choices you make, both consciously and unconsciously. If you can control the process of choosing, you can take control of all aspects of your life. You can find the freedom that comes from being in charge of yourself.”
Robert F. Bennett
Date: 8/25/2007 12:24:55 AM ( 17 y ) ... viewed 2210 times I hope I don't have anymore strikes.
I broke my fast unexpectedly the evening before. It was not exactly a conscious or unconscious decision, but propelled by some dark force. I am aware I am one of those people who resort to food to physically relief me of inner anguish.
I am acutely aware now of how strong and long my hunger pangs are between 5pm-11pm. If my mind is left to its own devices, it will conjure up images of high-sugar foods ie ice-cream, ice kacang, popcorn, sweet bread or high-salt foods ie laksa until its powers exceeds its boundaries and drives me over the edge. It is a monstrous force. I want to name it "the unassuming devil".
After returning home from school the evening before, I was confidenr I would be able to make it through the day. Then, I experienced weakness and light-headedness and sugar immediately came to mind, which is evolutionarily instictive. What drove me to commit the "break-fast" crime( cute way of looking at it haha) werew thoughts of inadequacy, of how wrong every department of my life was. I just was not putting in any effort in my life. I felt shitty.
The marriage of time sensitivity, self-loathe and physical weaknesses made me gratify myself with ice-kacng, chips, noodeles and popcorn( oh god, I did not even realize I ate so much). I am doing a colon cleanse today.
Some adjustments gotta be made:
1. Take morning shower
2. Wake up early so I have ample time to do things at my pace
3. Take short naps to rejuvenate
4.Bathe and take a nap when I return from school.(usually return in the evening, so sleeping serves as a distraction and invigoration)
5. study till tired then go to bed (study a little bit of each chapter everyday, go by the motto "slow and steady wins the race" be the toroise not the hare in the race for knowledge)
6.journal everyday or every few days
7. make origami sparrows for my love
8. sleep as much as I can
9. Transformational breathing
Areas of my life important to me:
1. studies
2. self-recovery
3. Learn about turkey and turkish
4. boyfriend
5. my health,
6. finance
8. read a small part of a book everyday for 1 hr
I'm going to restart again today at 6pm, after the colon cleanse. Do cheer me on!
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