Welcome to Day One of my beauty fast.
It's success or suicide.
Date: 5/10/2006 8:59:14 AM ( 15 y ) ... viewed 3176 times
I'll be going on an extended fast starting today - a "ketosis" fast in which, supposedly, the body goes into autolysis - primarily to deal with cosmetic health-oriented issues, or health cosmetic-oriented issues.
Some problems I face are excess liver spots, particularly on my nose and cheeks, malocclusia, asymmetry of face and body possibly caused by overacidity and toxins from cooked food, poor complexion, mottled skin on chin and facial scars, bleary eyes and disfigurement (swollen redness and distorted shape) of the eye (I have an infection at the moment), red spots on nose, puffy, heavy cheeks and mouth/chin area, structurally damaged nose, mucusy and breathy voice (poor breathing in general, sometimes asthmatic), deep circles under eyes, wrinkling above mouth and furrows around it, skin folds on forehead, poor health of hair, moles on face, a number of congenital deformities all over, and even worse, QUITE HORRIBLE genetics (pudgy nose, round eyes and so on), and several pounds overweight all over body - I'd like to lose about 20-35 pounds. In case you are wondering, I haven't a single redeeming feature anywhere. My feet are inoffensive!
If you post comments, please realize that I am fully aware of how ugly I am and do not need to be told. More hopelessness about my situation is not going to be good, so please don't give me any. This blog has two purposes - if you are sad about your own looks, you may wish to see whether I can sufficiently correct, ameliorate or compensate for the above through fasting (had lots of surgery as a child, didn't work, made things worse, not surprisingly - I would never have surgery again). I have been fighting for better health every day for many, many years and am completely at the end of my endurance. I am also, pathetically, deeply in love with someone who is my dearest delight and of course does not, cannot as things stand now, know I exist, except as a mutant reject perhaps. I feel completely terrible about myself and have no non-physical "redeeming features", either - perhaps fasting will eventually create some of those? If you are in despair about your appearance, you may wish to see what, if anything, I can do by my fasting - if I could help anyone who is vegan and still looks and feels like me, and help him/her to be the beauty that is trapped inside, this will be more than worth any of the travail.
Also, if you are interested in fast experiences that are more stringent than juice fasts (my fast will be urine, water, fulvic acid, and a few teasppons of AFA daily, not enough to provide enough carbohydrates to put me out of ketosis), you may simply want company or to see what it's like on a daily basis, for one individual at least, to prepare for a fast of your own for your own issues. Or to see it can be done - whatever the reason, it may interest you as a strict-fast journal, even if you are not ugly! Those people I can assure: I am keenly interested and awake to emotional, spiritual, psychological, creative, and non-cosmetic physical aspects of long strict-fasting, so if anything in that way comes up in this fast, I promise I won't just report on a pimple or a half-pound lost, but will let you know whether I've also had satori, or whatever doors of perception may open!
I'd like to thank anyone reading, as it's been (you might asssume) an intensely lonely struggle and it'd be lovely to share sweet fruits of success with anyone who almost cared, if only for his/her own sake. (There's no human family or human friends in the picture.) One reason I'm morose is that, in addition to having a high-raw, sugar-free, organic vegan diet, with plenty of all the "biggie" superfoods and supplements (noni, goji, alfalfa juice powder, etc., etc.), I've been a faster for almost 2/3 of my life - the longest I went (but it was on a colon cleanse with shakes and herbs and raw fresh tomato juice) was 20 days - I plan to do this for much longer. My last water fast was in December, for 13 days, and did nothing at all but start me on a voracious eating binge - all raw, but filled with such odious salty raw-restaurant junk I've been sick since. And of course so painfully, hideously ugly. Yuck. Obviously for me nothing good happens the first 2 weeks, anyway. Or bad - no detox, either. You need detox before you can repair tissue, regenerate, etc.
You are welcome to join me fasting. Please don't believe the books that say that a 1-day, 3-day, 5-day, 7-day, or 14-day juice or water fast can turn you into a radiant captivating being, from the opposite. That may be too short a time, by a long way off. Best of luck. I am here if you need me.
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