Day Twenty

My 40 day experiment is now halfway through. I'm discouraged by the lack of progress.

Date:   4/14/2006 9:42:30 PM   ( 18 y ) ... viewed 2075 times

Well, my experiment is half way over. Sadly, I've seen very little in the way of improvement in my chronic pain and inability to walk. I'm about ready to give up and be evaluated for surgery. I've lost about 17 pounds, but my blood pressure is higher than ever. I have cut the amount of pain medication by at least 1/2, but am experiencing such deep profound depression it scares me. I don't know what to do at this point. I feel like a total failure right now. The only thing is I still think surgery will be a huge mistake. I'll try to keep going, but I am so discouraged at this point. My left knee is frozen again and trying to walk is unbelievably painful.

My doctor is a little more positive about my recovery. This morning he told me that I have no reserves left and have to stop pushing so hard. He insists on wheeling me around the clinic, he even brings my car right up to the side door of the clinic. Today he gave me some enzymes to try to improve circulation, they're called something like Nattizymes.(the bottle is in the other room). There have been so many good and generous people who have done so much to help me, and I would feel terrible if I let them down, but I don't know how much longer I can go on. I'm so confused.

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