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Will sacrifice body for beauty!
The things we (I) do for beauty...
Date: 2/1/2006 9:43:52 AM ( 18 y ) ... viewed 2737 times Crazy ey? But true for me! Yes, I am willing to sacrifice my body for facial beauty. But let me explain with a bit more detail.
I've long considered myself to be.. well.. cute. That feeling was born fully out of ego -- males telling me so. Fine and dandy, but I had to nurture that feeling into belief, so now, my 'cuteness' stems more from self-confidence and a youthful persona. In short, I believe in myself; I like myself; I am not 100% happy with the reflection of the mirror, but I am far from repulsed by any part of me; I am mature, but so young at heart and I adore life.
What happened?
As recently as 6 years ago my face was slimmer, slender even. Today it's not porked out, but it's definitely rounder. I'm even sporting a double chin. This is the result of sugar excess, less activity and weight gain -- both in general and from the use of an SSRI (anti-depressant).
I loved it when I finally began to gain some weight! I was a skinny thing who tried numerous tactics to put on a couple of pounds in the past -- beer, ensure, fatback sandwiches. Nothing worked and I felt destined to be the "model who didn't model"... skinny to the core with no runway on which to display my bony stature. I hated the skin and bones look! I still do. So *some* increase in weight was a very welcomed change.
Then another 10 miraculously (sp) landed on me somehow. Where the hell did that come from? Later, someone left yet another 10 at my doorstep. Like a nut, I opened the pretty "10" package and plopped a bit on my thighs, upper arms and face. Altogether, it's a bit much.
What about that double chin?
Well.. it's gotta go. Now the question is 'how?'. Until someone comes up with a way to spot reduce, I'll have to sacrifice something. I just hope it's not my nice round cushion (butt) or my ta-ta's (yeah, those). I happen to love my booty, chest, calves and biceps.
My body structure is not meant to hold the weight I'm carrying. I know full well some would say I'm crazy for worrying over my current weight (158, 5'4.5") as there are many who are struggling with much more weight. But this weight is mine and mine to bear. It's well over what I believe my body is meant to carry (based on my personal evaluation of self, not charts or some web page calculations). 10-15 lbs down would be ideal for me.
So off will come the weight and hopefully the extra puff under my chin will go bye-bye with it. I hope that a better understanding of my eating patterns and a change in my actual eating habits will help in this journey. And for the sake of a cute face, I am perfectly willing to sacrifice a bit of leg, arm, even boob.
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