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"World Famous" Me
Tried on giving up my home
and 98% of all my possesions today,
more than 30 years worth. Tried on
giving up my Love Life as I know it
+. Asking myself, what do I have to do
to fulfill my karma and dharma, and get
out of here. Then had a wonderful time
at Judith Leif's and sold a bunch of
Love Cures!!!
Date: 2/11/2006 5:08:46 PM ( 18 y ) ... viewed 1532 times La Jolla, California
February 11. 06
2:56 PM
I left home and went right to the Mail Boxes
a few blocks from home. Jordan saw me coming into the store
and said hello from a distance. Vanessa, my closest female friend
there, was working too, and always calls me "Honey"
or some other very sweet thing.
We all should have relationships with our local stores that are like this.
I wanted to get to the Leif's home in La Jolla overlooking
the Facific Ocean. The house is one of the most beautiful
that I frequent from time to time when they have Jewish Renewal
services here.
I am typing from the computer in Judith's office.
There are books to the right five shelves high,
with the most exquisite of Jewish art and art from
other mystical traditions.
There are large Hebrew letters on big posters in different
places.
I was suffering so at the Mail Boxes, but found solice
in going behind the counter and using their laminator to
seal nine copies of "Soul Mates," #4 of The Seven Love Cures.
At Judith's I numbered and signed each.
They are numbers 7-15 out of 50 that I will make of this
limited first edition.
The service was about five minutes from over when I arrived,
but they were going to have a Tubishvat mini Sedar and a vegetarian
potluck, and it was about to begin.
Rhonda was leading the seder celebrating the Birthday of the Trees
that coincides with Valentine's Day on Tuesday. I did not know this
until I arrived here today.
The Birthday of the Trees is the opening of New Life
for Nature in the Jewish Mystical Tradition.
How gracious of Judith to allow me to type now here,
while they are cleaning up the tail end of the event.
They have a lovely garden.
I hope you get to walk in it one of these days.
SO Rhonda says, "Yes, and we even have our Enchanted Gardener here!"
That was very sweet, to say.
So here I was, I was trying on giving up all my things and surrendering
to moving out of my house and just taking a few things with me.
Let's see what would I take and what would I get rid of?
What would you take?
The computer, of course....and all the digital photos on it.
I would spend time in my exit strategy putting all my writings
on computer. Let's see most of them are there already.
Then, I would take a lot of photos maybe.
What would I do with my $1600.00 desk that is so heavy
it cannot be even lifted.
Jack Lief just asked, "Things. O.K.?
I said "yes!"
He said, "wonderful!"
So I went up to Rhonda and asked if I could read a poem.
IT was #4 of the Love Cures, "Soul Mates." that I just made
nine copies and laminated.
I tied in my message with Tubisvah, the Birthday of the Trees.
They were having a mini sedar. You eat from the various kinds of fruits...
each symbolic of some mystical expression of Kaballah, and the four different
worlds.
It is a Pip of an artwork that goes with the poem.
You can see a copy on the ebay site on a previous blog.
So, I invited everyone to say the words with me and take a few organic
steps to Revealing Paradise on Earth through increasing understanding
between one man and one woman, starting with ourselves.
That was a nice segway to the poem.
Lots of people repeated the words.
I said, say the words to someone here, or someone not here
that you want to increase in understanding.
Boy, it is easy to fall out of a Soul awareness in our close
relationships. We need these words everyday.
I started to work the room. IT was actually a deck overlooking
the ocean with a beautiful garden down below, and coy fish ponds.
Helena bought #7. Actually I met her near the door.
She was my "girlfriend" for five years once.
That was an easy relationship to let go of.
She said she was saying goodbye to Michael today,
her most recent boyfriend. She has been doing 12 step work for many years.
That felt good to have her buy the poem for $9.00
She will send the money. I can count on that for sure.
Then I gave Eileen a copy. She was a woman who I had eyes for
in the Spring of last year. She came over my house and took a nap
after the service. IT was a holiday. We harvested the barley.
I do not remember exactly if it was exactly the holiday of Shavuot
or nearby. They Eileen got bit scared. I hadn't seen here since then.
I was in a very vulnerable space. I mean I just gave up my life as I
know it.
Eileen got copy #___. Not sure. She will send the money too.
$9.00. I did not say .90 cents tax.
Then I showed it to a woman from Chicago. Her name was Elissa Rubinstein.
She was very moved. She said, I should travel to all the Jewish Renewal
groups around the country and read the poems. That was nice.
I was thinking maybe I will travel now that I do not live anywhere anymore...
(in my head.)
Jineen, an artist friend, was sitting nest to me.
Her man, Don said, after I told of my changes.
"You give all up and then discover there is a foundation under you
where you did not know you had one, or...you learn to fly."
Then,Nancy Curry, bought a copy. She will send the money.
Then, Judith said that her friend wanted a copy. Judith sent in a brought
out some money. I stuck it in my pocket. IT was for Margo, who lives in
East Del Mar.
Oh, I left out Harris. He liked the old version of
the poem on the border that is not my own art.
I sold that for $7.50. He gave me $8.00. Judith, his
girlfriend, S.O., said, "Oh, making a deal on Shabbat.
I got that money.
I was feeling quite healed by then for a man without a home.
Then, I went and sat down with a woman named Sandee who had every
finger covered with Jewelry that she makes herself.
She was almost in tears as we talked.
She said, she felt like such an outsider everywhere she goes.
We talked. I invited her to the Artist Anyomous group on Monday.
She lives in La Mesa.
We really connected.
I read her "Your Creation," Love Cure #1.
Then she said she wanted to go down into the garden.
She needed some space. I read her Love Cure #2
"Because She is a Woman."
She said, "if you knew how badly I want a copy of these.
They are what everybody needs to har but doesn't know it until they hear the words!"
She said,"You should be world famous with words like these!"
I told her about my addictive patterns with my closest friend,
I told her about my isolated artist's life, and how uncomfortable
I made my closest friend.
Sandee could see how intense that would be for anyone!
I said, "Yes, it would be better if I a lot of women had
a date with Your Enchanted Gardener one a year, like Thursday
at 1 once a year.
Sandee is an artist too. She understood and explained.
IT was like a breathe of clean very purified air.
It would be so healing, but person would suffocate if
they had too much of me too often.
They could not live with me 24 hours a day.
I knew this to be true, that it was too much to put so much
attention on one person.
"This concentrated energy that I put out belongs globally."
Sandee said.
She said, I was making her feel very uncomfortable because I was
writing down her words.
She did give me her email. I was sure to keep my distance
and respect her boundaries.
I told her I was trying on giving up everything.
I asked, "what would happen to me?"
She said, "with words like this I was guaranteed a landing."
An other woman said from Chicago, the one I talked to before said
on the way out, "Your work is marvelous!"
In the kitchen, I showed the "Soul Mates" poem to Rhonda,
and asked if she wanted to buy a copy.
she said, "Go tell my husband this is what I wnat for Valentine's Day.!
He said he would sent the money.
3;41 PM
leaving from the Leif's to go see
a friend and her husband from out of town
who are staying at the La Jolla Travelodge.
They live in Seal Beach.
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