Funeral in 36 hours... by #94544 Blog entry

Blog: Extreme Change: Raw Food - 3 month challenge.
by #94544

Funeral in 36 hours...

Time - fluid, stagnant, a paradox.

Date: 10/26/2017 9:54:11 PM ( 7 y ) ... viewed 1186 times

How could I so effectively block out the pressure of so much to do and watch the clock tick away?

I am in charge of my mother's funeral taking place in 36 hours.

There's a table to be cleaned and quickly painted, the table cloth to be fitted, the photo to be printed, the frame to be located.

Food bought to serve to guests now needs to be prepared.

Bonfire for Saturday night planned.

Home-made newspaper kite supplies bought - needs to be cut and assembled into seven kites.

Black outfit and shoes need to be found and pressed.

Eulogy, I wrote at her time of death, to be printed out in LARGE PRINT. I am giving the eulogy.

Scripture chapter and verse notification that is to be read by family members to be sent to them via text.

Red Bull for one family member in particular, to be picked up as promised.

Car needs to be excavated. It's been a long week.

Sleep NEEDS to be had tonight.

Work for 7 hours tomorrow so that I may pay for this entire event.

I have been eating very, very well this week. A glow has returned to my face. I actually removed the foundation I applied to the left side of my face. The contrast of the left side to the right showed that while the skin color was more even - the light that is coming through the surface was muted completely.

That. Is. Great. News. in so little time.

I have also been taking probiotics daily. I began flossing!!!

I've also been body brushing daily. My elbows are still hurting - just not to the fevered, steady pitch that has been becoming prevalent.

I bought aloe vera juice and add it to my water.

I am doing so, so, so much better in just 4 days. I can hardly believe what I am experiencing - so quickly.

My demeanor is calmer, less depressed. Rather than focusing on the wrongs others have done to me, and what a week of wrongs - I have successfully focused on four positive connections with four people rather than their antics. Sexual harassment, bullying, price gouging, shameless self promotion, and simple ordinary rudeness.

Yes, that sums up my week with people. Not once did I retaliate. THAT in and of itself - a miracle of epic proportions. Trust me that one.

Speaking to my coach today (yes, I have a few sessions with a coach) - she was amazed at my presence of mind in contrast to the sheer insanity exhibited the past 3 months.

I truly was willing myself to die out of sheer desperation and lack of inspiration to go on. I was that depressed. Chocolate for breakfast. For weeks. Chips for lunch. I cannot help but wonder what the hell was going on inside of me biologically.

So, huge. Huge. Huge. How to simply drink my spinach shakes, eat my salads, and eat apples for snack while the crazy food is all around me? I just don't know except that in the morning I will plan my food, set a target window in which to eat each meal - then pray for strength as I go.