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Doing the Thing too Big!
Doing the Thing too Big!
Date: 3/7/2008 10:56:28 AM ( 16 y ) ... viewed 1002 times 8:41 AM
March 7, 08
Something escaped this morning.
It shocked me.
I did not know it was there.
It had a life of its own.
It was the accumulation of all the fear
all the anxiety I had breathed into LIfe
and now it had no relation to anything
that was attached to anything.
It felt like something bigger than me.
It was born out of discouragement.
It was born out of giving your best
shot and what you gave not being enough.
It was wordless.
I have been in bed for well over an hour
dealing with the sensation of it.
It was the substance of what asks to be healed,
not a condition, more an energy.
it is gone now.
So many things have been interfering with me.
Yesterday, Quicken, my Record-Keeping Software
starting glitching.
Every time I put in the name of one person,
it changed it to another!
It was beyond me,
something I could not deal with,
just like the bigger things that I cannot deal with now
because they are too much,
too big, too overwhelming.
What do we do in times like these
when change is called for,
change that seems so much bigger than
anything we can do?
I could write and write about how bad this
thing was that came upon me.
It was like the thing that comes out
when fasting happens,
that has nothing to do with all the good
you have been doing.
I made sense of everything during the night.
I had a game plan.
Then this thing came up from out of nowhere.
I sprayed on some Magnetic Self-Heal.
I put some oil of Dynamic Dynamo on me.
These are FES products.
I am putting on my blinders.
I am going to take on the Next Little Thing.
I can handle.
One more Impossible Thing that
in this moment I can not do.
8:55 AM
Catch up later.
8:59 AM
Finish the Arosa Per Month Inflow and Outflow...
What money comes in each month?
Wha money comes out each month?
What are the catagories that go out?
Glitch: Solve it....now in Arosa House Report
with Work Fund...get it to show $360.00 out this month.
Others show that look like it,
why will this one not go in?
9:17 AM
O.K.
I can see it.
The number comes in on the report I need.
Something else needs to happen here
so only $360.00 shows up.
Focus.
Where you game face.
You can do it.
Will it above emotions.
[Aside:
Things to tell Sanda:
I did the rent increase.
Not now.
How do I get the partners I need for the house
from the Natural Food Industry?
What kind of changes need here...
Who needs to here what?
What needs to be written up? ]
Thank you, do not read emails...
Focus....
Did not take call from TS/BF...
Thank you for caring and calling.
Focused. I love you.
The Workmen from SDG& E have arrived.
I did not take the call.
They are outside starting to work.
Focus. Claim the space to do this, Leslie
You can do this.
9:21 AM
9:15 AM
First successful BM since
fast. Glad I stayed with rice,
steamed greens, and raw lettuce.
Follow Your Heart Vegenaise as spread.
Some Candida response in my ears this
early morning. From Follow Your Heart Spread?
9:40 AM
O.K. I am figuring out a couple things in
Quicken.
I did solve that mystery yesterday with the help
of Union Bank.
Under Preferences....
Simplifying downloaded Payee Names....
What I am attempting to generate
in this report does not seem to be working.
Maybe it is a budget report I am looking for,
something different?
Just do it. Don't beat myself up.
Accept as a step in structuring.
Be grateful for bowel activity this morning.
Glad I did not eat a chicken.
Having success breaking the juice diet.
I want to stay vegetarian for a while.
increase variety.
10:29 AM
Feel a little better.
Been checking out Quicken support online.
Apparently, there is a Chat with an Agent:
https://quicken.custhelp.com/cgi-bin/quicken.cfg/php/enduser/live.php?interfa...
I have been looking at the budget possibility.
I am distracting.
Community College class learning Quicken?
11:31 AM
The only way I can get the Report I need
right now, is Micky Mousing around with the
registers to create a Work Fund with the
amount of $360.00 in the Spend Column.
The problem occurs because in the Arosa Only
Register, there are more than one entry
for the month from the last month.
What to do about this?
Is this acceptable?
Look over Arosa Only Register.
Review.
Something is smelling good from
the Kitchen. I have not eaten today.
My fluid intake is not adequate.
I am not caring for my body well today
while I am focused on this Quicken.
Stop, Leslie!
Report says:
I have the info I need, even though
Mickey Mousing around,
If A pays rent, I am -7.83 short for the month.
This is not bad.
Without A paying rent:
I do not take out $100.00 for Mgr.
and I am -$27.83.
I can live with this for awhile.
GO EAT!
set up auto deposit for Work Fund.
then, write up report for book.
NEXT?
Work Fund balance.
Play with types of accounts.
2:25 PM
Minor victory....
detail I learned...
income catagory made
Arosa House Income Statement Print
inflow outflow screwy.
Corrected it from income to expense....
Will this effect other? Maybe needs...
own catagory....for CA report...
Check CA report.
printer has been fighting me....
bizarre glitches...
Im tired.
12:16 PM
pep talk from
w/ Ron:
learn by doing...
learn by doing...
hands on learning...
not a book kind of guy...
learning abilities different than most...
professing it...
recent...
real in what...
The Den Father--
Start with the picture of what it is...
Start with outcome...of picture--
Living environment...
start with picture....
housecleaner...
2000: Keep it looking new...
imagine it as i want it.
mirror their success--
Find a model that is successful...
undividual
patty
Deborah....
http://www.markvictorhansen.smugmug.com
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