- Wednesday (Day 35) by Roooth
16 y
2,360 3 Messages Shown
Blog: Stating my Intentions
Ok, so part of the whole point of this whole thing of counting days is to make sure I actively state my intentions and therefore actively focus on what I want created for 100 days straight. Although I've been good at staying on the blogging, I've done miserably so far at one part of my health goal: eating habits and weight loss. If I feel good generally about overeating, thinking I'm working out a lot and so probably eating more is good for nutrition and support of my vigorous workout program, I still gain weight. :-( Weight and eating is such a convoluted subject for many women, perhaps LOA folks would say there are underlying thoughts as well that are undermining me? Perhaps, it's so hard to tell. I know I'll feel good for a while, then try on some pants and in spite of going from 2 workouts to 6 workouts weekly, I think I've gained and in the middle so that's not good! :-(
In spite of the theory of LOA, I feel that action is required. I'm able to lose weight with extreme measures but not with moderate diet tweaking, it would appear. Perhaps it is a lack of consistency, or again just too many calories, plain and simple, even when I'm eating healthy food. I got quite frustrated yesterday morning over it.
So how to make this switch? How the hell to really set the mindset? Reading the book about the amazing power of emotions, I'm using some techniques there. It is very helpful in life in general I think to rework your thoughts to something more positive. Somehow I haven't had it positive enough long enough or whatever formula in place to have achieved the results where I want to eat in a way that makes me slender. Perhaps it is my enjoyment of food itself (which will attract more food) that causes me the trouble? How to attract slenderness while attracting more yummy food? *thunks head on wall in exasperation*
I wish I could really have a close intimate chat with someone who had DONE it and made the changes step by step. Someone who analyzes this junk deeply. Maybe I'm too deep but if I don't work on it and just relax, then I eat without much restraint and that does't workout so well for my waistline either, even if it's healthy food. Often it is, occasionally it is not. I got on the LOA forum, chatted a bit, looked up the subject, but it doesn't appear anyone talks about this in depth in terms of personal experience. I saw an exerpt on the subject but I don't appear to be getting anywhere, at least not quickly.
I will not give up of course. I'm determined not to ever "let myself go" and if I'm posting yukky posts like this for life but do decently well, that will be better than losing health and vitality, but I would like more improvement. I often have hope that I am getting there or will find it... realizing I've gained back some weight sucks b/c it's the same 10-15 lbs over and over again (at least it's not a bigger fluctuation!)
I am grateful that I've been able to keep off the first 10 that I lost and haven't gained it back. I'm very grateful that I've found many healthy foods I like and between those and working out I feel better than the period in my life where I was eating badly. So these are very good positive things. What I would like is to get over the habit of eating a lot and being content eating light without thinking more about food when my body doesn't really need it. If I could do that, I would have my dream body to stay.
Other things are moving along. I've been a little lazy today and yesterday but have done some work for school. I've a lot to do.
At work I met with my boss. I've been cultivating some bad attitudes about people there by looking hard at one side of the story - not out of a bias so much as out of humor. You see, I have a small click at work and we have great fun teasing about our side of the story. But to take a more existential view means to be kinder to the other sides, even if just in our heads. So I met with boss and it gave me some perspective. That perspective won't be so fun to joke with, but if I want to be a kinder person (which I do), I will keep it in mind. I'm going to try to help the situation as much as I can... but I have to be careful about that. I'll do what I can and try my best then to back off and let it unfold as it much. The more I can back off, the more peaceful I'll be since holding on to the outcomes at work is very frustrating. So ideally I'll be light hearted at work and let go my expectations even though I will try to help.
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Roooth
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- Re: Wednesday (Day 35) by #94917
16 y
2,287
I am by no means an expert at this, but definitely see a lot of the same struggles I have had in the past. After reading your posts, it seems as though you are putting too much emphasis on food - meaning you think about it too much and it is possible that is the reason you are eating more. If you are constantly thinking about eating food - you will eat! Then you become stressed which does not allow your body to function properly. Have you tried the age old tricks of drinking water before you eat, or having an herbal tea? Also, what exactly are you doing for your exercise?
I think that you should try focusing on relaxing/meditation/yoga exercises to help de-stress. That is in addition to you exercising and eating right.
I also wanted to point out that it is possible you are having too much sugar in your diet - even if it is natural.
But most importantly - don't become defeated!! Be positive!! And remember your reasons you are doing this and read them daily. Everyone can take control of their life, and sometimes it takes a little help and support. You are doing the right thing by talking to everyone about your daily struggles. Keep up the good work!! Good luck!
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- Re: Wednesday (Day 35) by roooth
16 y
2,232
Thank you, I appreciate your support a lot. The food thing has been a continual struggle. It almost seems like a catch-22 in that thought supression does not work. This is both in line with current research and LOA way of thinking. Sadly, I can't make myself not think about it. I'm attempting to get habits of thinking about other things instead but yeah, it feels like a tightrope to walk and get correctly from semi-obsessive thinking to releasing that thinking without trying to force it to stop. Relaxing seems to let me eat more food! Not so good.
Yeah, maybe I should look more closely at sugars. It's true that I've always had a crazy sweet tooth. I feel that I've made great progress in that instead of ice cream, I eat Sorbet (fruit which has sugar, I know) or instead of candybars I eat Raw food bars which do include a natural sweetener. I love agave! (predictable) This is most of the time. And I eat veggies far more than I used to. So there's great progress in my diet that I've maintained for months and I'm comfortable with because I like the healthy treats. Before that, my sugar sweet tooth would cause crazy cravings. Now it's not always intense cravings (so progress?) but still a habit or constant underlying thought of "what is there to eat"... not all the time but in times of quasi-idleness like at work or at home. If I was really intensely into some activity, I wouldn't have a second thought about food for a good while so it really seems mental.
It would seem I have some mental habits to break. I do know the tricks, and I can lose weight if I force myself to be very restrictive for a while. I can't seem to do that with a more relaxed philosophy of moderation - well yet, anyway. I hope that this process will help me reprogram my mind. One thing that may affect it is my husband being away for 8 months. 2 months to go. Sometimes a lot of the eating happens at home. I'll write an entry in a min - I'm tackling this issue next to try and fix things.
Anyway, I don't know why food issues can be so stubborn for some women. I totally empathize with women who have more trouble with food than I since I have a taste of what it is like. I want to be one of those people that deep down doesn't care if I eat the rest of a piece of cheesecake or of anything. Anyway, so the work continues. 100 days, still going. Thank you again for your support!
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roooth
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