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Eric B
6 y
1,866
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Eric B
6 y
1,805
Well, dear ones, this is my very first video on my youtube channel. I can't figure out how to embed it, so this is the link. I will be covering all sorts of topics in future videos, involving narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths, and how we can heal from the trauma we have undergone.
Oh, this video is a bit dark, but I will fix that in future videos.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_jvn0UqfdA
Love to all,
Luella
xo
Have you read both my blogs and watched my video? By the way, from my research that has been in depth, only a narcissist will call someone else a narcissist, but don't take offense.
I am not going to defend myself and I am not going to explain why I don't show any "wounds" when I write but, if you saw my video, I do show them and describe them.
And, by the way, in other venues, I have gotten comments from victims of narcissistic abuse that I am "spot on."
If you would like to contribute as to what you have gone through, as a victim of a narcissist, I invite you to do that.
My Best,
Luella
HAHAHAHA! Actually, I've gone through all those stages, especially the............. How could I have been so stupid phase.
Actually, Vulcanel, you are brilliant with the way you have dissected this. But we'll have to agree to disagree on the healing part. Some people can go through those phases and then heal on their own. But, some people can't and they develop anxiety, PTSD, or other conditions that are quite complex. And they cannot get over it on their own. They need help. Now, keep in mind, I am not this help they need. I'm here for support and guide them on what steps they need to take, or who they need to see, to help them heal, and this can take time.
Now, as for the victim and crybaby mentality.................. Maybe some people that don't want to move on, but not in every case. These people are hurting and they possibly have no support. They need to hear someone talk to them and reead about it, so they have an aha moment. Understanding brings knowledge, and with that, you can heal. If you don't know which way is up and you are emotionally and mentally wounded, you can't heal. So all people are different. For example, I had my aha moment watching a random video and then I buried myself in research. And, research from the point of psychology,.
So, Vulcanel, in some areas we agree, but in some areas, we will have to agree to disagree.
Thanks for your input.
Luella
LuellaMay
6 y
1,105
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), also diagnosed as Anti-Social Behavior and Anti-Social Personality Disorder, entails a long term pattern of abnormal behavior where the person exhibits exaggerated feelings of self-importance, excessive need for admiration, and lack of empathy for others. Read More.
Oh, Dearest Trapper,
Me too. And that is why I am starting a blog and a youtube channel on the subject. In fact, I'm going to put up my first video on this forum in a short while. I am doing this on other venues too, I want to get the word out. Actually, I found out that I have been a victim of narcissistic abuse my entire life through a random video that came up. Actually, I kind of went into shock for about two days.
As to your question......... Why have you been always drawn to narcissist? Because you're probably an empath, just like me. And empaths and narcissists are attracted to each other like magnets. The only way to avoid a narcissist is to set boundaries. The minute a boundary is crossed, or you feel like you're focusing on making that other person happy, or being perfect for them, watch out. You are probably being sucked into a narcissistic relationship........... Again.
In spite of knowing all there is to know about narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths, if you do not have boundaries set up, you are going to slip into their clutches. And that is because they are so believable......... So smooth, and it's easy to fall into that trap. So, boundaries are the only way.
Lastly, be good to yourself and focus on you, because, my friend, you have gone through mental and emotional trauma. Over and over again.
My best to you Trapper,
Luella
Eric B
6 y
1,596
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Eric B
6 y
1,424
RN Educational Eric B
6 y
2,675
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Eric B
6 y
2,540
Eric B
6 y
2,219
Eric B
6 y
2,483
First of all, I could not get through your volumes of concerns. It's too long for one post, and this tells me a couple of very important facts about your situation. You are very upset, very afraid, and working like a fiend to keep this ill-fated marriage together. This also tells me that you would benefit from some individual counseling therapy and, perhaps, separate from your spouse while you sort some of this out for yourself. What he does, what his family does, what his friends do.....you do not have control over any of this. You only have control over your own choices and decisions, and making a wise decision and choice requires heavy duty contemplation, not knee jerk emotions. In other words, what we feel is not what "is." What "is" doesn't involve feelings or emotions - it just "is." And, it "is" a fact that you cannot manage this dysfunctional family. You can only manage yourself, bottom line.
You feel obligated to make the world a good place for this man - to make up for his family dysfunction so, in due time, he will trust you, love you, and appreciate everything that you do and sacrifice for him. In return, he will stop behaving badly, stand up against his dysfunctional family, and finally become the man that you know he can be. This will never, ever happen.
If he is not being honest in therapy, he's not going to be honest in recovering, and he isn't honest or truthful with you in daily life, either. Yeah, you're married and you had a wedding and all of that, but you are young enough to learn from this decision, sort yourself out for a couple of years, and try, again. What you thought isn't what "is."
Nobody has the power or control to make a tin can turn into a fluffy kitten, and this guy is bad news. His family is bad news. I was married to someone that seemed different from his family and I made myself believe that he was a great fellow. He was a very, very bad man and I'm not going into what he did in this post. The point I'm trying to make is that we often will try to make something fit into our systems of beliefs and values when whatever it is clearly cannot and will not. This fellow will not turn out the way you're expecting him to.
Good luck to you.
Eric B
7 y
639
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White Shark
7 y
1,327
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White Shark
7 y
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