Re: Living with a Narcissist can result in Anxiety Disorders
hahaha, good luck on the victim thing. Narcissism forum will get nothing but a bunch of crybabies, complaining about how they've been "wronged". But, I know a lot of women who first would never get involved with someone too much into themselves, and others who walked away or ran, fast. If you think about it, blaming others, is of no value, we all make our choices and complaining about them, only reflects on ourselves. we are not perfect, so don't take it personally. People make mistakes. Lamenting about it, may be therapeutic in the short term but with time it will pass and a new day will dawn.
I was a "victim" of a "narcissist" if I want to frame it that way, but I personally choose not to. While some choose to engage in what I now see as "victimism", I've been busy refurbishing a house, put new brake pads all the way around on my awesome supercharged Buick, new rotors in front and gave it an oil change. Drove it at high speed on the open road and totally loved its handling. Ripped up a bunch of linoleum, and burned some brush. Still, lots of work to do.
I could lament about the other person being all into themselves, easy. Oh, trust me, they were. they totally were into themselves. But, aren't we all, to some extent ? Its a continuum, of reciprocity. When one goes over the line to the exclusion of the other, then it becomes inequitable, and unsupportable. As long as their is Love, as Chris taught, to treat one another how they themselves want to be treated, then, there is no problem. As I wrote on the other post, that idea trumps everything.
But, Luella if you think about it, god gave you better things to do. If you want to delete this message, it is ok, won't bother me. Clear, you're in a state of surprise, something someone did that made you "realize" something. But, its not as simple as you think, its actually more simple.
this is the important part....... by believing we ourselves are the victim of anything, whatever it is, we ourselves show our own narcissism. right ? If we were not into ourselves somewhat to begin with, we wouldn't feel victim to anything. See what I'm saying ? By claiming to be the victim of a "narcissist" or whatever, we are showing our own narcissism.
So forget about that lament. do it a little bit, it is natural, but don't make a mini-career over it and start any forums, such forum will go nowhere and only invite sad-minded people that reinforce one another's sadness. And it could turn you into a perpetual victim, when in fact God has other plans for you. Posters on your proposed forum, will be very few. They would be a highly specialized group who write about how "the other person" is to "blame". Wa wa wa. Easy, blame others. It couldn't be me, after all !! Actually, nobody is to "blame", and we are all to "blame". Relationships are a gamble, and nobody enters one without inherently knowing there is some element of risk involved, that the other person will be unreasonable at some point. Same with corporations, they sue each other all the time, mostly because "company X" was a narcissist, only into their own financial position. LOL. You never see Exxon calling Shell in a lawsuit, a "narcissist", because they each know, the're in it for their own interests.
Instead, just get out of your normal routine, normal travels. go other places, see other people being happy, they will inspire you , show you that happiness definitely exists and you can have it, and it is easy because God created us to be happy !!!!!!!!
The ones who drag you down, are the other lamenters who do nothing, but cry in their beer, like some on this site.
I have a lot of free time if I want, and you are welcome to drop by, I can show you many happy people.
Go forward, never backwards, and definitely don't stagnate with the losers who cry on the internet. You are probably better than that. I've helped a few people just see things when spiritual blinders were put on them, seems like you're just in a shit time right now but I guarantee it will pass. don't waste time with these internet people, they're not happy, they'll only drag you down to their misery level. Come see the Highland Lakes, come climb Enchanted Rock. Or, lament with trapper about how you all been victimized !! By the world !! Oh woe is you !! :)))) Break away from that shit, for sure.
You have better things to do !! I'm not your anything, only suggest, take a trip or something, see some new horizons, to open your mind, to put past things behind you and realize you have a different and better future waiting for you.
Basically, you're having adult growing pains. All you need to know, is that the future will be better than the past because you have grown. Simpler than you thought.