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5 year anniversary.
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Date: 2/7/2011 7:47:30 AM ( 13 y ) ... viewed 31665 times Well, yesterday was the 5 year anniversary of my son's death. I spent the day with my focus on feeling the warmth and love in my heart for him and sending it out as I breathed. Simple as that. That was my tribute to my only son. I let his unconditional love for me be the guide as to how to live my day.
I have been working very hard in my morning readings and journaling this week. It amazes me how I rested on my laurels. What a joke of pride and ego. A joke of alcoholism. I have been doing my inventory every night. How could I have possibly forgotten that without these two practices I am letting my alcoholism progress? I am relieved I am back on track.
Food has been awesome. Huge, huge salads every day. Cider and water ½ and ½ - 2 qts. a day. I am beginning to just be okay again.
This whole job review has me nervous but since I've been cracking down on my two routines and exercise - it is going to be okay. I am so grateful for this opportunity to truly know who I am and to show others. This is a huge piece of my foundation in my self esteem. I never was quite sure of myself before. Steps 8 and 9 opened the door and it is expanding as I go. I am very, very happy. Who knew my heaviest challenges in life would ultimately bring me the most heartache, and then the most happiness for having known G*d and myself better?
I have to get up and get ready for work now. I feel a little fear. Fear of how lost I've been. It's a realization of my alcoholism and where it took me. I am grateful.
*hug*
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