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fear of mortality
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Date: 1/19/2011 8:24:25 AM ( 13 y ) ... viewed 44130 times As I begin this gorgeous, one of a kind day - I feel fear of my own mortality. The mode to sleep walk all doped up on food and television or any other distraction from what the responsibilities are right in front of me is so clear.
Read my morning meditations and journal to them. Eat a lovely, healthy breakfast - maybe a crunchy, fun salad, dress to go skiing (how damn lucky am I?) and then go to my friends to get my hair cut and colored, after which we will take a power walk. Then I eat dinner and go to a two-hour part time job. Not a bad day. Other option? Walk in circles around my apartment, eat shit food, continually tell myself that what I am doing is what I should be doing to block out the feelings of urgency and waste a beautiful morning.
On the mountain is gorgeous snow, trees, fresh air - the freshest air in the entire state. So, move it.
Yeah Mom and Dad spent my entire life wasted in a day dream and yeah, that is my original program of operation - but it is my responsibility to outgrow them, outlive them, to be better, do better, to break whatever chains they could not. Addiction. It is mine to break.
Will do. Just for today.
*hugs*
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