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Both hands and a road map...
me update
Date: 12/9/2010 10:10:00 PM ( 14 y ) ... viewed 31042 times Funny how I worry about others' judgements of me. Why? Why should I give weight to an illusion - even if I know they're judging? I can simply turn away with a prayer and truly release it all. I will. God bless you Gus.
Says that we can choose in AA the path to sobriety that fits. Well, that was true for me once - in hindsight - what was my definition of sobriety? Abstinence. Today what is my definition of sobriety? Abstinence and asking myself those 11 little questions at night on page 86 of the 4th edition, and morning journal/response writing to AA and other daily readings, prayer, sponsorship, meetings, service. I think that covers it. If someone ever asks me for help I don't want to tell them to 'do the next right thing' when as alcoholics we may or may not truly know what the next right thing is.
Ex #1's next right thing now is to drink. Ex #2's next right thing is to break up with me and run back to match.com. What's my 'next right thing'?
Clean up my food. I feel better already. This summer's raw veganism built a recognizable feeling of peace and knowing inside of me. Today, day 1, in veganism - not going raw in the winter - I already feel at home and safer than I've felt in a long time. Safe? Yup. Safe. Safe like I am walking a fast to G*d as I understand Him on the deepest level I can - by ingestion.
Filtered water w/vinegar
Steamed turnip, plain
Steamed squash, plain
Cabbage/vegetable soup - again, plain for now
Happy girl. Gus just popped back into my mind. He speaks to ex #2 about me. Let's him know if I'm 'okay'. Yeah, like I said, both hands and a road map Gus.
Ex #2, and this is difficult for me to truly admit, also gets the 'both hands and a road map' status as far as I'm concerned.
We continue to take personal inventory and when we are wrong, promptly admit it. Off I go to answer those 11 little questions for when I retire at night.
Dragon chasing me. I'm not about to stop and ask it what it wants. MF.
*hugs*
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