Re: blah blah about food issues

Bella,

I went back and read your story. Thank you for sharing that very personal information. I also read some of the responses and I think they're horrible. I also want very much to be healthy and read about a lot of this stuff and take different steps to control my issues. I've never had a full blown ED but I have enough tendencies and struggles that I understand. When someone jumps on and says you're just coming on here to find a throw-up buddy or you are in control; you're just self-centered, they not only are rude about it but they truly and genuinely don't understand. I don't know who you are deep down, but if you know me, you can look at my life and realize that I'm not self centered - in fact in most facets of my life I'm so sensible, which is EXACTLY why my food issues are so darn baffling!!! Plus there are other aspects, some people have a very strong addictive reaction to processed foods. A friend of mine would have to go through physical withdrawal if she only ate cranberries, because of the added sugar! She was a hard core addict and couldn't touch most foods or gain huge weight from eating. She went through withdrawal every time she came off of bad food. When I knew her she was fairly slim, but only with huge effort. Perhaps the difference between those who are bulemic and those who are very fat and compulsively eat is that the bulemics are determined not to be fat; neither can control the eating. And looking around, are there plenty of people who compulsively eat? YES! Obesity is rampant!

So in short, I wanted to say please don't mind the people who reacted badly to your story. If they understand, they can say something, but I'm coming to understand that a lot of people see ED type issues only from their viewpoint of food and if they don't have such issues, they really don't get it. You came here for support, not a lecture. I also think going back to raw vegan is a fabulous idea - apparently before that didn't trigger you into compulsive eating and also allowed you to eat plenty and maintain a weight you like. Perhaps that's your thing. I am currently following a diet (non-vegetarian) that helps with cravings a huge amount, and while on it I feel in control. Last week I was completely out of control again and my weight was going up and I was eating so much I felt bad and then one night I purged..... so I'm back on the diet and I feel so much better - in control, and I am eating. Maybe it's a biological sensitivity b/c on this diet I can somehow feel like a normal person without constant obsessive food thoughts distracting me from everything else in life... and you did well on raw vegan before. Good luck, thank you for supporting the other folks on this forum.

*lots o' love* Take care. Tweet