First, if the symptoms on your fingers are not painful, it's almost certain that its not herpes.

Your partner was right, too, that your getting it transmitted from her genitals is unlikely unless your normal skin was compromised somehow by having a cut or abrasion. Normal intact skin is a very good barrier to pathogens like herpes.

From what you are describing, I'm guessing it's something more like dishydrotic eczema or something like that.

As far as testing, I think you are confusing this with HPV, the human papiloma virus for which there is little in the way of testing for males. Testing for herpes is very much available. If you actually have blisters or sores, you should get a type-specific culture done on the symptomatic area. There are a number of blood tests available which are type specific. One of the best which is readily available is the Focus Labs HerpeSelect IgG for types 1&2. Don't let the doc talk you into the IgM test as it's useless in most situations. For some good links about testing and diagnosis, visit
http://www.racoon.com/herpes/main/aware.htm


Oh, disclaimer time: I am not a doctor and I've never played one on TV.