Re: Cheated on and not sure what to do

Just for some clarification here, I do not want to confront her to blame her for the affair, that was his choice. I want to confront the whole issue, make sure that all three involved understand that this is in fact over and not a future option. And I want to hear him say it to her, with me standing there, so there is no question that the statement has been made. Granted it could be a lie, but It would still feel good. Also - so far I have not involved her husband in this, but if it happens again I will gladly let him know damn the consiquesnce.

My husband has stated that he does not want out of the marriage, he wants to work on it. At this point I choose to believe that. Since all this came down he has come straight home from work every day, something he had not been doint the past month (and one thing that made me go looking for evidence) so he is making at least one step in the right direction.

I wrote him a very long letter detailing my feelings and position as well as my expectations going forward. If he chooses to stay, it will be by the ground rules I laid out. I asked does he not want out, or does he fully want in? There are going to need to be some changes if that is the case. I know you all think I am foolish and week and stupid, maybe I am in some ways, but if there is a way to make this work I plan on doing so.

And yes I will be visiting the local health department for testing shortly. Too soon right now to tell anything anyway.