Mother's Advice, att: Rabbit Ears!

My mother is skeptical of all the stuff I do, so I was quite surprised this weekend when she told me that she thought trying the SCIO thingy was a good idea.

She said, "Well, if you put electricity in the ground, all the worms will crawl to the surface to get away from it."

Seems like I kind of remember my grandad telling a story about putting an electrical wire in the water and a fish jumping inside the boat with him.

And... for what it's worth...

Mom says that sitting over a steaming hot brick will make hemorrhoids go away. I kid you not. She gave me a brick and said to try it. She said he has done it before and it works. She said to put it in the oven and bake it, then squat your naked butt over it and let the warmth steam your behind. I guess there is some kind of chemical in the brick that the pinworms don't like, and it either kills them, or makes them leave your anal sphincter alone for a while.

To Rabbit Ears- I tried sitting on a bucket of sweet milk. My hiney was itching like crazy the whole time I sat there, which was about 45 minutes. I never felt a worm come out of me. How long does it take. I only fasted for one day. Maybe that was the problem.

I'm pretty sure the things biting my butt right now, are the same things that bite my throat and wake me up at night, they just migrate from the chest to the rear end, back and forth. It is the same kind of itching stinging sensation regardless of where it is happening, and both ends are never itching and stinging at the same time. It's gotta be a migrating colony of worms.

I'm fixing to be rid of them folks. Wait and see.