Re: my angry son

Hello there,

It might be anger itself, but from what you've said up until now, I believe there could be other forces at work that fuel the anger. All emotions need to be fuelled by something; Love is fuelled by deep connections between people for example.

I remember having the same reaction as a kid and it being fuelled by constant verbal bombardments to do things in my life, at the time I believed that it was my life and no one else had the right to tell me what to do. I’m assuming that these responses are automatic instant, almost like you’re expecting him to react that way.

Usually demonstrating understanding is a good start, really notice what’s going on and if you truly want to help your son, you need to remove your own responses from the situation. No matter what he does, approach from the kindest, most compassionate place in your heart, offer to do things for him and start the process of tiny little things – bring him lunch in his room, offer him natural curtseys, then move on to him doing something in return – no matter how lazy he is, pretend he is so busy that he does not have time for his homework or what ever. - “Listen I know you’re busy son, so I went to the store and got you that thing you needed, so now you wont have to go do it, oh and listen, if you’re not too busy later, please could you come help me decide what flowers I should buy for your mother?” Always elevate his presence, like he is important, and his position in the family is important – it does not matter how you feel about that! What matters is what needs to be done for him to feel that way.

Have you heard of hypnosis treatment for anger? A lot of the time you can solve issues without any effort, just by playing certain music in the background during supper, the whole family will benefit.

If you need a recommendation, I would be happy to oblige.