I am able to condition my hair now, but when it was falling out, I would lose lots of it when conditioning it. It was hard not to since it was so ratty. Is your hair ratty? If so, the ratty hair has a lot to do with the same problem that is making the hair fall out. If it is not ratty and just falling out and thinning, maybe it is premenopausal.
From what you said about feeling better after different cleanses, you had more symptoms besides hair loss. What were they?
My blog is mainly just a journal of health that I wanted to make public so everyone can see precisely what each cleanse does and how much time it takes to get healthy. Maybe if you've got the same symptoms I've had, it will help you. I hope so.