Re: self-gratification - is there ways to control myself?

Hi,
If you haven't do so already, I would recommend that you see a counselor/therapist (and perhaps a medical doc)regarding your various problems why you aren't confident.

Regarding self-gratification, the only way you will maturbate less is to control your mind. It's not easy but with practice you can train your self to think of and focus on something else until the desire subsides. For example, when I have a negative thought about something or someone I recite scripture or go through my personal and work to do list in my head. It took a while for it to work. So you must keep trying to think of something else when you start thinking of sex. It will need to be something powerful because sexual thought and drive is very powerful.

Also, you may need to deal with sexual images that you see in movies and such. You should avoid them. Yes...this is hard because sex sells and it's everywhere. However, what I've had to do (for my celibacy) is avoid magazine, movies and conversations with sexual content. That has helped me tremendously with my celibacy. I know that's not your goal but it's a mind thing.

Anyway, I hope these things work for you..if you wish to try them. You can also check out Every Man's Battle books from
http://www.newlife.com
as well.

Oh another thing...getting a girlfriend isn't the solution. She may not have the same sex drive as you and you don't want to choose some one based on her ability to keep you from playing with yourself, spanking the monkey.

And...one last thing I think it's good that you are seeking a resolution to this. Focusing on sex and self-gratification all the time can affect your relationship with a woman and/or girlfriend. It will be hard to connect to w/o making her a sex object and evaluating the relationship based on sex. I think many people make this mistake. They assume good sex = good mate. Ugh no way...and a person's sex drive can change at any moment. So what was good during one year may not be the next.

Also, when you spank the monkey so much it may be harder for your partner to please you.

Well those are my thoughts...


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