Re: achy sex...

This is my primary symptom also. Western docs call it Balanitis. It's related to Candida and sometimes known as Candida Balanitus. I was prescribed Loprox, which relieved the symptoms. However, it doesn't cure it and over time my symtoms became systemic and nearly impossible to affect.
So you might want to use it as a relief, but understand that you need to take care of the condition itself.
I've tried almost everything without making any more than a short-term dent in it. However, I've been seeing a Homeopathic doctor for more than a year now, and recently he began treating me with something called Psorinum. It's making fundamental reductions in the symtoms, but I'm sure I'm still a year or more away from eradicating it, if it continues to have effect. I don't understand homeopathy however, so the remedy may be specific to me, rather than the infection.

I'm certain I contracted mine from sexual intercourse, but most documentation and doctors say it's not transmitted that way. But given both you and your wife and myself and my girlfriend displayed similar symptoms, it will be necessary for both of you to get treatment.

Be aware there's no quick fix to this condition, but you can win with discipline and persistance over time. The many approaches are discussed often on this forum.

If you're in the Toronto area I can give you the Homeopath's name.