stop playing with yourself, spanking the monkey--you won't die--and you' ll connect more with what IS...
feeling-wise, mind-wise, whatever... you're gonna have to face it sometime. The sooner you do, the sooner you will recognize the fake in the mirror...and sort out your essence.
Clearly, it's ' Super-Tough Love' you require...
Believe in Grace? don't believe? Parents tainted your appreciation...?
Try this experiment...
give everything new its time--
give PEACE
a chance.(not so inane as it sounds at first ,hmh?! )