Mary and "Battered Women's Syndrome"

By Houston Law Review, Kathleen Waits

Mary Did Not Display "Battered Women's Syndrome";
"Battered Women as Survivor" Is A Better Explanation of Mary's Responses

Mary's story shows, once again, that "Battered Women's Syndrome," [166] at least as it is classically stated, fails to describe most battered women's experience with abuse. [167]
First and foremost, Mary never experienced the "cycle of violence." [168] Russ was never contrite or loving after a severe beating. He never apologized, and, except for a few presents, acted as if he had done nothing wrong. We now know that the loving and contrite phase is absent in many abusive relationships. [169] In others, it may occur after the first severe battering, but then disappear. [170] Yet some experts in the field continue to push the cycle of violence as an essential element of violent intimate relationships. [171]
Nor did Mary exhibit "learned helplessness." [172] Mary did, however, experience certain elements of post–traumatic stress, such as Depression and anxiety. But, like most battered women, Mary's helpseeking efforts increased as the violence escalated. [173] Unlike the dogs in the famous shock experiment, [174] she did not become passive; she did not give up. As one friend of mine in the movement says, "If you buy learned helplessness, then you can't explain all the battered women who escape. If learned helplessness were right, battered women would all stay until they were dead." [175]
There is now ample literature criticizing Battered Women's Syndrome. [176] Yet Battered Women's Syndrome still holds sway in popular publications [177] and legal writings. [178] This may be due to the way "learned helplessness" dovetails into our society's image of women as weak creatures and natural victims. [179] Alternatively, the cause may be Lenore Walker's proficiency in self–promotion. [180]
Yet, there are other, much better theories already out there. The best of these theories recognizes that battered women, like other trauma victims, do not all react the same way. [181] The best theories further emphasize that abuse does not occur in a vacuum. [182] Different women's responses may turn on their own backgrounds, [183] but especially on the response of people from whom they seek help. [184] The indifference, condemnation, and blame they may experience from others (viz. police, judges, lawyers, psychologists) will inevitably influence victims' future actions. [185]
Mary's responses fit well under the "battered woman as a survivor" theory of Edward Gondolf and Ellen Fisher. [186] Gondolf and Fisher suggest that, instead of the psychological paralysis of "learned helplessness," battered women cope valiantly. [187] They deal with their tragic and traumatic circumstances as best they can. [188] Emphasizing context, Gondolf and Fisher point out that women return to their batterers because "help sources" like family, friends, police, social service agencies, and the judiciary are ineffective. [189] They dispute the "learned helplessness" image of a woman cowering in the corner, accepting the blows, and doing nothing. Instead, their research indicates that most victims make repeated and increasing attempts to seek help and escape. [190]
As suggested by the "survivor" theory, Mary made repeated helpseeking attempts. She tried to broach the subject with her doctor. She left Russ, albeit briefly, after the laundry room incident. She continued to seek support from family and friends, even when she did not reveal the abuse. Unlike women who give up when faced with an unspeakably hostile system, Mary continued to fight against Russ's abuse of her and the children. However, even she acknowledges that she came very close to going back to Russ after he won custody of Daniel. It would not have been "learned helplessness" if she had returned. It would have been an understandable, even reasonable, response to the utter failure of the lawyers, judges, and psychologists to act responsibly in the face of Russ's violence.
No theory can fully describe the richness and variety of battered women's responses. [191] But the "survivor" theory describes many women, including Mary, much better than Battered Women's Syndrome.