Grappling with Feelings of Not Wanting to Be Here....

Hi,

I can really relate to your feelings. I have grappled with the same ones all of my life as well. Although I have never attempted suicide, it is a motif in my life. My mother tried many times to kill herself and my brother actually did. Depression runs in our family. If you have grown up in a dysfunctional family, I found the book LEGACY OF THE HEART: THE SPIRITUAL ADVANTAGES OF A PAINFUL CHILDHOOD by Wayne Muller very helpful in understanding how I was impacted by everything I endured.

In trying to help myself over the years, here are some of the conclusions I have come to which may or may not help you:

1) Apparently I died a violent death in the lifetime previous to this one and because I was murdered, I reincarnated fairly quickly without benefit of a resting period. This can lead to feeling resistant to being here.

2) According to a past life regressionist I spoke to, many of our issues stem from our pre-birth (vs. pastlife) experiences. My mother admitted to me that she didn't want me and tried to induce a miscarriage. Unborn children are very vulnerable to the emotional/mental states of both their parents, not only at conception, but throughout the nine-month gestation period (read THE SECRET LIFE OF THE UNBORN CHILD by Dr. Thomas Verny). As well, my father really only wanted sons and had no interest in daughters. I think that feeling unloved and unwanted at birth caused me to become disconnected from my feelings because I couldn't handle that situation. So at some level I decided to disengage from myself, my feelings and life in general. Being so disconnected, it's only natural to not want to be here. What a miserable existence!! Our DNA gets imprinted with the emotional baggage of not only our parents but also our ancestors as well.

3) Then there's the unresolved emotional traumas and resultant negative feelings/emotions from our past lives.

4) Nutritional deficiencies such as Omega 3 fats (THE OMEGA-3 CONNECTION by Andrew L. Stoll, M.D.).

5) Environmental Toxins - heavy metals (THE BRAIN CHEMISTRY DIET by Michael Lesser, M.D.)

6) Candida overgrowth and/or parasitic infestations

7) Hormonal imbalances

8) SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). I find I am very sensitive to lack of sunlight and use full-spectrum lighting to help with this.

Anyhow, there are so many factors which can contribute to messed up brain chemistry, it boggles the mind. No wonder so many people rely on anti-depressants.

Anyhow, not to depress anyone further, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I am currently utilizing a technique called "scripting" which apparently can reprogram the DNA to help one uncover one's perfect genetic blueprint. You do not need to remember how the negative programming took place and it will address issues stemming from inherited ancestral issues or past life issues as well. It is amazing. I cannot recommend this tool more highly. They are described in detail in Karol K. Truman's phenomenol books FEELINGS BURIED ALIVE NEVER DIE and HEALING FEELINGS FROM THE HEART. Check out her website too at www.healingfeelings.com or read some of the phenomenol testimonials on Amazon.com.

I realize I outlined many things which could be contributing to Depression and the feelings of not wanting to be here, but I feel the most important is addressing unresolved negative emotions/feelings stemming from this lifetime, past lifetimes, or inherited from our ancestors.

May everyone reading this be blessed with light, love and hope...
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Hi,

I can really relate to your feelings. I have grappled with the same ones all of my life as well. Although I have never attempted suicide, it is a motif in my life. My mother tried many times to kill herself and my brother actually did. Depression runs in our family. If you have grown up in a dysfunctional family, I found the book LEGACY OF THE HEART: THE SPIRITUAL ADVANTAGES OF A PAINFUL CHILDHOOD by Wayne Muller very helpful in understanding how I was impacted by everything I endured.

In trying to help myself over the years, here are some of the conclusions I have come to which may or may not help you:

1) Apparently I died a violent death in the lifetime previous to this one and because I was murdered, I reincarnated fairly quickly without benefit of a resting period. This can lead to feeling resistant to being here.

2) According to a past life regressionist I spoke to, many of our traumas stem from our pre-birth (vs. pastlife) experiences. My mother admitted to me that she didn't want me and tried to induce a miscarriage. Unborn children are very vulnerable to the emotional/mental states of both their parents, not only at conception, but throughout the nine-month gestation period (read THE SECRET LIFE OF THE UNBORN CHILD by Dr. Thomas Verny). As well, my father really only wanted sons and had no interest in daughters. I think that feeling unloved and unwanted at birth caused me to become disconnected from my feelings because I couldn't handle that situation. So at some level I decided to disengage from myself, my feelings and life in general. Being so disconnected, it's only natural to not want to be here. What a miserable existence!! Our DNA gets imprinted with the emotional baggage of not only our parents but also our ancestors as well.

3) Then there's the unresolved emotional traumas and resultant negative feelings/emotions from our past lives.

4) Nutritional deficiencies such as Omega 3 fats (THE OMEGA-3 CONNECTION by Andrew L. Stoll, M.D.).

5) Environmental Toxins - heavy metals (THE BRAIN CHEMISTRY DIET by Michael Lesser, M.D.)

6) Candida overgrowth and/or parasitic infestations

7) Hormonal imbalances

8) SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). I find I am very sensitive to lack of sunlight and use full-spectrum lighting to help with this.

Anyhow, there are so many factors which can contribute to messed up brain chemistry, it boggles the mind. No wonder so many people rely on anti-depressants.

Anyhow, not to depress anyone further, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I am currently utilizing a technique called "scripting" which apparently can reprogram the DNA to help one uncover one's perfect genetic blueprint. You do not need to remember how the negative programming took place and it will address issues stemming from inherited ancestral issues or past life issues as well. It is amazing. I cannot recommend this tool more highly. They are described in detail in Karol K. Truman's phenomenol books FEELINGS BURIED ALIVE NEVER DIE and HEALING FEELINGS FROM THE HEART. Check out her website too at www.healingfeelings.com or read some of the phenomenol testimonials on Amazon.com.

I realize I outlined many things which could be contributing to depression and the feelings of not wanting to be here, but I feel the most important is addressing unresolved negative emotions/feelings stemming from this lifetime, past lifetimes, or inherited from our ancestors.

May everyone reading this be blessed with light, love and hope... Tweet