new to fasting, already failed

Haha, my post sounds very negative.

I started a Water Fast for an indefinite amount of time at about 11 AM yesterday. today, i was so motivated. until around 11 AM. i rationalized the thought, like i tend to do with anything that is positive and good for me, and i went out and ate Fazoli's AND burger king. now im back at work, 30 minutes are failure, and i feel even worse than i felt when i hadn't had anything to eat. i know the first couple of days are the worst. i know i can achieve this, i just have to be a little more motivated next time. oh well. anyway, i just found out about this forum last night.

i want to lose a good deal of weight. i also want to achieve some healthy spirituality, and clear my body of toxins, etc, etc, etc. im a 19 year old male, 6'3, 290 lbs. i gained 100 lbs. very quickly in the past year or so, because of heavy drug abuse and then quitting(for some, it can cause serious repercussions such as massive weight gain when stopping, especially when stopping 'uppers'). i'm constantly depressed and self-conscious. ive tried to 'diet' or whatnot, always lost motivation. once i have a bite of good(or bad.. unhealthy food) i think about how much i love eating, and it all falls apart.

eh, anyway. i want to lose 30-40 lbs. i want to quit smoking cigarettes. i want to clear my body of any toxins that have accumulated through this life of unhealthy living; it's my next step in cleaning up my body. i got off the speed now i need to eat healthier, live healthier, be more helpful. im rambling, so i'll stop. but i already appreciate the fellowship on this forum. im glad i found it!

oh yeah. i am wanting to start again tomorrow.. maybe a shorter goal, 3 days or so.