Pageant's over, here's the news...

Top 15. Did not make top 5. Really sucks. I was pretty depressed about it, but I'm not going to let it get me too down. The winner and other 4 in the top 5 were all very "pageanty" which is one thing I don't really do. This was my 4th and last year competing on the state level, and I'm now too old to do it again. Since I didn't win, I can actually say what it was. It was the Miss Indiana USA pageant. I competed in Ky the last 3 years and got 1st runner up my 1st two years, but only made top 15 last year, so I thought I'd rent an apt in IN to establish residency & give it one last try there, since it's supposed to be easier.

I have to admit, my body wasn't as good as a lot of girls' bodies, but it definitely wasn't bad, and the top 5 weren't the best bodies either. But they were the frontrunners in Indiana. Being an out-of-stater, I guess I really wasn't in the loop. I'm not trying to say that I didn't have a chance no matter what, but I really expected to do better. Aside from a so-so swimsuit, my interview and evening gown were very competitive. Oh well, you live and learn. At least now I can move on with my damn life and try something new. I gave it my best shot, and at least I know that I tried.

I'll post pics as soon as I get them. I didn't order any, since I spent all my money on the damn entry fee, but I'm sure there will be some floating around on the web in the next couple of days. My myspace webpage is myspace.com/lynda2 if you want to check it out. One good thing about losing is that now I don't have to pretend I'm not a big, obnoxious, vulgar %¤#&!§-anymore. I can really let it all hang out.

By the way, I ate ALL weekend! We were required to attend all meals, and they put a plate of food in front of you, and I couldn't NOT eat it. I didn't eat a lot, and what I did eat wasn't bad, and I actually think it may have helped the first day, cause my stomach was looking kind of caved in, and I think it helped sort of flatten it out, but by tonight's final competition, I don't think my body looked as good as it would have, had I not eaten. But I really truly believe that even if I looked exactly how I wanted to look in swimsuit, the girl who won still would have won. She was 1st runner up last year and was the big favorite, so I can't say I'm shocked or anything, and while I am very disappointed (and in major finacial pain!), I'm relieved too.

I ate a veggie burger on the way home. Tasted like crap and made me sick. Anyway, good luck to you guys. I might try EOD fasting for a while, until I can get my willpower on track to switch to raw. I'm about a size 6 or 7 right now, and I really don't want to get back up to a 12 again! It's so nice feeling thin, even if I still only look good in clothes. Anyway, I'll check back in tomorrow. I'm going to sleep like the fed tonight. Have a great day tomorrow and thanks to all of you guys for your support!