Re: JEALOUSY ..and question for Adie

I hope adie doesn't get her feelings hurt as I do not know her..but when I read her post, I was saddened. As she said, she has had a long history of jealousy in the past with BFs and in fact, it was so out of control that she 'lost face' a number of times. I'm sure she and people like her LEARN (because of their embarrashment) to PROTECT themselves in the future and ultimately don't trust their 'innter feelings' with ANYONE..nevermind one particular person (ie = intimacy)

People with similar experiences find 'trust', sharing' etc. as too risky and do not want to 'risk' betrayal, hurt, or repeat their 'lossing face' etc. Hense, they share bits and pieces with a number of different people so that NO ONE PERSON knows 'all there is to know' They really can't say they are COMMITTED to any one relationship and are, in a way, always aware of the potential for betrayal, so they are guarded and ready to 'move on' at the first sign of those old feelings cropping up again. People that ARE able to trust, share and have that special 'closeness' (be intimate with that 'speical person) ultimately results in genuine feelings of closeness, trust, and caring... Hense, they 'prize' and 'value' those 'close personal relationships. On the other hand, with past hurts, embarrashments, lossing face etc. etc. in the background, true intimacy ever really developes. And in their mind.. "I don't need anybody'.. I have LOTS of close friends... RIGHT

Again, I do not know Adie nor am I implying what I have written is true for her... Obviously people have to do what they have to do to deal with themselves. I thought it was rather revelling that nothing was said about the cause of her prior jealousy etc... only that ultimately 'thats not a problem any more. The question is 'how did she resolve her issues or did she or others like her just COMPENSATE by protecting themselves from future hurts, embarrashments or betrayal... Again, this may not be applicable to Adie.. I sure don't know.. I am simply throwing out possibilities.