Resentment towards ex-wife is eating me alive.
I hope someone can help me with this...
I got divorced a year ago. We were married 9 years - seperated for the last two.
I did not want to get divorced, but it was obvious that she had lost all desire to work things out and was wanting to move on. On the day she told me she was going to file she met a guy. Within two weeks she was sleeping with him and he moved in within a month.
According to my 8 year old son he's a very nice guy - I don't know because I refuse to talk to him. I am not a violent person, but I find myself daydreaming about kicking his ass! I have such resentment and hate for my ex-wife for what she did but I don't know how to let it go. I have absolutely no desire to be her friend and will only talk to her long enough to make arrangements to pick up my son. She likes to "rub in" how perfect and wonderful her new boyfriend is and that he doesn't have all the "issues" I had. I get so jealous - and I have never been the jealous type - when I see them in the new house I bought raising my son.
I want to move on... I know holding all this in is going to kill me eventually - it already makes me miserable.
I still wish we could have worked things out because on some level I still love her yet at the same time I know I could never forgive her or trust her. It would never be a healthy relationship.
I have met several ladies through dancing - which I took up after the divorce - but most of them are even more dysfunctional then me and I am not really good at playing games.
I have friends that tell to just "f**k'em and forget'em". I guess I have more of a conscious then them because I can't seem to do that either. I desire to be in an intimate relationship again but know that as long as I am carrying around all this emotional baggage any normal healthy female will avoid me like the plague.
I don't know what to do - but I need to do something fast!
Any advice would be welcomed...