Answer to your Q to me + more specific info

CMC: What do I mean by: something you are holding onto that isn't working for you in some manner....etc. An old belief system, for example. One that seems applicable would perhaps be regarding helping everyone - you mention you are giving up some of yoiur volunteer activities. In the past, have you had trouble saying "no" to others for fear of being seen as selfish? ANd maybe now you are realizing that YOU are important and sometimes you just need to say NO to people, or you'll go nuts.

Your husband is concerned about you. Was he supportive when you were feeling good? Is he supportive of what you are doing even though he is dubious and doesn't agree, or is he commenting about it constantly and saying things like "I don't know why you'd want to do that. It doesn't make any sense to me." "That's just nonsense. You're smarter than to do something like not eating."? The difference between the two will FEEL very different to you. One makes you want to lean against him and smile, reassure him you know what you are doing and have a whole cyber support group - the other leaves you dismayed and distraught.

WHich is how you feel, I know! But it isn't necessarily from your husband. I'm just throwing out some food for thought here. (OH! That's like my 10th automatic food reference today - GEEZ. WONDER WHY???? hehehehhehe)

My sense of you is that you are getting stronger within yourself emotionally - beginning to set some boundaries for yourself and realizing that YOU MATTER (and it's true!). You're not buying into some of the stuff that has worked for you. I don't know specifically WHAT - but if you look inside yourself, you will find out - because it sounds like you really want to know.

CMC - be aware that change never comes without a price. As you choose to move to a higher level, you are - in fact - choosing to upset the apple cart of the norm. THAT IS OKAY. Some people who have been happy with you the way you were will NOT be happy with you the way you are choosing to become. So you'll get flak - "CHANGE BACK!" flak - and it's usually couched in "supportive - I care about you" language, cept' it won't FEEL to you like the words are trying to sound.

Back to the volunteering as an example. EVeryone has their own baggage - it's entirely possible that as you cut certain volunteer activities out, as you learn to say "no" in order to attend to YOU (a VERY important YOU, by the way!), you might hear "Oh dear. We were SO counting on you. You've always come through in a pinch before! Well, I suppose if you can't do it......" and they drift off, waiting for you to jump in and help - out of guilt. But if you know what is taking place and can recognize it for what it is, it's harder for your trigger to be tripped. "I'm sorry - I simply can't be available this time." Done. And then....IT'S HAPPY DANCE TIME! Because you did something for you, you did something tough, and you did it.

Okay - BASTA! as they say in Italy. All of that might help you some. Keep in touch.

Hugs and blessings!
blueskyz