I am wondering if you have ever seen the movie "Chasing Amy?" It is a hollywood movie, but much of the subject matter seems fairly on key. The theme is similar to your situation, though I don't know if you will gain much insight, but it may be worth watching if you haven't already seen it. I have not had many issues with homosexuality, but I did find that it raised some questions and got me thinking. If you haven't ever seen it, it may help you evaluate your situation a little...