ME TOO I NEED HELP :(

Hi Sarah,
I had to cry when I read your email. My boyfriend of 5 year has the same exact problems. I would go to work and come home, finding him in front of the computer doing his thing, going on the chat and finding girls to talk dirty too, and twice, I found long distance bills of him calling these girls and talking dirty on the phone. I loved this guy with all my heart, I supported him through his univercity, sports and life. I have him the world. Like you, I thought we had a good sex life, but something was missing. He promised me over and over and OVER that he would stop doing this stuff, but it was a bunch of lies. Finally, I caved in. We went out and bought p 0 r n magasines. I did that because I was scared that he would start going out looking for other girls, so if he does this crap at home, it's OK right.... well so I thought. That wasn't the only source of our problems, he liked to go out and smoke pot behind my back. He had a bad group of friends that he just could not give up and grow out of. He will be 26 this year and still acts like a kid.

In the past 2 weeks, we started shopping for engagement rings. He told me that I was the women that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. I thought FINALLY he grew out of all this crap. To my surprise, he left me last saturday 2003-01-18. He said he wanted to leave to be able to do what he wants, when he wants. Also, that he does not want to hurt me anymore. He left and did not hear from him for 2 days. He came back to pick up some clothes and was not able to look me in the eyes, and on top of things, Stank like pot.

Yesterday he finally told me that it was over for good. That we would make arrangements about the bills and stuff. He came over and told me that he did not love me anymore! After all these years that I gave my heart and soul, everything I could for this man, we shared 2 dogs... and he walks away with no cares. I know what I should do at this point, be strong, and maybe, be gratefull? I'm very confused and I have a hard time to shut him out or living alone after you had somebody in your bed for so long waking up next to you in the morning. Now, he's staying over at some guy's that he does not even know and coming here during lunch hours to pick up his things. I don't have much friends in this area since we moved away from home to come here, which is about 11 hours away. I devoted all my time to him and now, paying for it.
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