Was I abused???

I HATE sex, it's dirty and nasty. I have always felt this way, I don't recall my parents telling me the above statement.
I have had some "flashbacks" but immediately block them.
So, I'm not sure what the flashbacks even are.

I have been married for 10 years to the love of my life. Our sex life consits of a few times a month. I cringe through each and every time.

My life is such a disater anyway. Today, just seems to be a real bad day.

Thanks for listening.