sexually abused repeatedly and hiding ever since

Hi:

I was sexually abused from age 4 until I was sixteen. I did not tell anybody until I was in my 40's. I have been chronically ill my whole life. I have a little bit of a weight problem and I often feel as though I just can't let myself be a success at anything. Even when I am succeeding I feel like a loser. Whenever I tell anyone about myself I make sure they know how sick I am and how rotten something in my life is. I complain a lot and feel down and suffer from depression. I have begun to share with two women who were also sexually abused as children. I can't get used to sharing this kind of stuff and some times I get really angry and feel like we are just being victims. then I realize my anger is at my abusers.

It is really hard to let go of the rage and I torture my body with my suppressed rage.

I just thought I would share this to see if sharing on a list like this can help me unload even more of the rage.

thanks