Re: Seeking Help

Hi Matt,

I have never suffered from this abuse, so I hope that what I have to say is useful.

I think it is wise to confront to tell your family, not necessarily your wife at this time, but your parents, and siblings what happened. They have to know, so that this abuse cannot occur again within the family. You have to know that none of this was your fault, in fact, you have to believe it. Do you feel guilt? You shouldn't. To have a healthy life, you must forgive your abuser. You may have to ask God to help you forgive, because it isn't within us to forgive such hurters, such devils, such destroyers....
Most abusers were abused themselves, and we think that they don't deserve our forgiveness. Just think of the emptiness, guilt, & loneliness that abusers have in their souls because of their sins against mankind. Abuse not only hurts the victim, but also the abuser.

I believe that the Creator had a better destiny for you, than just survival. Remember, he sent his Son to suffer and die for us, so that we could be forgiven and forgive others. It is through forgiveness that you will find peace and strength. Perhaps, knowing that the Creator knows you and loves you very much, and that he didn't want this to happen to you in the first place will help. As a man, God meant for you to enjoy your wife as a companion and lover.

It might help to ask for counseling at a non-demoninational church. Today, pastors are equipped to deal with this type of abuse and offer counseling. Use your yellow pages, calling Biblical churches and ask if they have FREE counseling.

I pray that you find the sensitive counseling, and may Yaweh Bless you with healing and bless your family in the new year,

Shalom