Have you tried a twelve step program like Alcoholics Anonymous? If it does, as you say, rule your life, this will work for you. This program to me is very similar to here on this site in that it is also a way to heal. It's hard to explain the similarities here. I am not saying you are an alcoholic, but this program works when nothing else does. it may seem daunting or scary at first, but if you just go to a meeting you will find tons of support and help (kind of like here!).