Adrienne,
Have you read "The Power of Now" by Echkart Tolle? It is soley about dedicating yourself to the here and now. I have shared lots of your feelings and hope that this helps for even a moments time! Even though it helped me for only a few months time (then I let myself get involved with "life" again), I still think about different quotes from him and it helps me out now and then.
i.e. "Complaining is nonacceptance of what is, either change or accept it, all else is madness"
"Darkness cannot survive in the presence of light" (he was talking about facing your issues instead of hiding them because that will only keep them in the dark). You can get away from that darkness by bringing in out into the light and dealing with it and accepting it. You will feel so free!