Re: childhood abuse

We (society) tend to root for the professionals because we want to be validated (approved of) by them, but they only understand fromn a spectator's point of view that wants money. Professionals of all kinds know that society tends to consist of hypochondriacs, and that guilt and shame is a tendency because of identity crisis and conscience and (we're our own worst critics).

I'm a 52 year old male that has suffered 51 yrs. of suicidal Depression because of an identity crisis from a broken spirit (childhood family ostracized me). All of my life I had a feeling that something about my life was somehow wrong. When I heard a guy talking about how HE was suffering through his divorce, I wondered how his CHILDREN will react to the divorce. Then I understood what that feeling was all my life. My parents first separated when I was 15 and divorced years later, but it was always a 'dysfunctional' family (nice polite clinical name). Statistics are that most children of divorced families suffer Depression into adulthood, sometimes late adulthood and even beyond. Remember, family teaches us how to be human and use the toilet, how to be civilized instead of live like an animal. If our family doesn't teach us to be a human being (a UNIQUE human being/identity), then there will be "something" wrong in our lives, we will not have a "SELF". I always tended to make completely non-sensical and idiotic decisions because I believed, to me, for me, life didn't matter. I/self was not alive, my body functioned, but my mind/self only travelled through time, but did not participate in life. His depression/anger/uncomfortability probably has roots from childhood and he just didn't settle down in life enough to recognize any Depression until some years ago. When I was younger, I was a 'misfit', but didn't really recognize my depression yet as anything but stupidity and being socially unfit, but the older I got, I began to see the pattern. I got over my depression about a month ago when I explained to someone else about their depression.

I believe that all depression is borne out of some form of identity crisis because we are doubting ourselves and are no longer secure in who are, our identity is no longer firmly established and we are alienated. Of course there is a nutritional element to depression, but it is almost never a cause, but more of a result of being 'drained'. Traditionally, depression is very misunderstood, nothing is wrong with the depressed, much to the contrary, something is very right. We're smart enough to see the 'matrix' (the facade that everything is beautiful and good) and have heart. I don't specifically understand venting excessive anger, but I have come to understand the SENTIMENT of love instead of the simple EMOTION. There are many EMOTIONS, but only one true SENTIMENT (LOVE that produces sorrow). Try introducing a new concept,...love as a SENTIMENT. It is the sentiment that will produce regret and sorrow for causing pain and suffering, but also introduce identity/self and the self-esteem of being respected for being kind and gentle and upright (and also that SELF is an identity independent of parents). Parents are supposed to supply roots to grow and wings to fly. His roots are more like walls and his wings have been clipped. He is seeking approval and validation from his parents (sad).


Tweet