Re: at the end of my rope

Hi Jimman

I am sorry that you are feeling so bad… Depression is a truly dark and lonely place to be…I remember it well and am glad that I am not in that place now. You are dealing with a chronic illness and many people here will be able to empathise with that. It is so frustrating having your life limited and copying with pain on a daily basis, especially when you are trying so hard to heal yourself and nothing seem to be working.

The thing that I starkly remember about the ‘Dark Night of the Soul’ is it’s total and utter loneliness, which I believe now comes from a ‘disconnection’. I think that as human beings we are part of wholeness, oneness and that at times in our lives we can travel so far into ourselves that we lose touch with ourselves, others and the universal energy that we need to sustain our being. It is like someone pulling the plug, there were times in my darkest moments that I couldn’t speak and even darker times when I couldn’t hear. Sylvie Plath called it the ‘The Bell Jar’ and this is a telling description…nothing going out…and nothing going in …complete disconnection of one soul from another soul…from the universal life force .

I think it is good to remember though, that often people go through this like a quest to find a true self and a way of being. I think that Depression can be a transition, shedding the ‘old self’, or what we thought of as the ‘self’ the identity or the person we were conditioned to be. Then you are left feeling like you have no self, raw and pink and sore. Though it maybe the price we pay to find a more congruent self.

I would say that the post before this were the person suggest going out and being in nature is a really good one because this is the first step in reconnection and remembering who you are, reaching out to people here is another start.

I really hope that you being to feel better… my heart goes out to you… in connection …best thoughts moonie