what have I done ?!

I have herpes and got it from an ex boyfriend that I was with for close to 5 years . I recently split with him ( thank god ) about 4 months ago & he's the only person that I've had sex with over that whole time of the on again off again relationship .
I have this friend at work that I have been hanging out with for some time now ( around 6 months ) and it started out as friends & just kind of changed into something more just recently ( almost a month )
we have beeen having sex for about 3 weeks now & i feel like such a jerk. I honestly thought that if I didn't have a breakout the chances were next to 0 of spreading it. I decided to research the chances of spreading this when not having an outbreak just to make sure bc its been weighing on my mind & i needed to find out for sure. well to my disgust the chances are NOT next to 0 & I'm so upset. I wanted to tell him about me bc I believe he deserves to know but I am a relatively shy/ sensitive person & I just cant find the way to get the words out. I really , really cant physically get the words out it feels like . I care about him so much & I so did not expect for our friendship to blossom this way. He has said some derogatory remarks about herpes or someone that had herpes ( dont exactly remember what ) but if I was gonna tell him that shot me down to the point where I tried to cut ties with him bc I was so depressed & the last thing I wanna do is to give this to him . needless to say I like him so much that I couldnt stay away from him & things just continued. a conversation even came up about STD's & he even asked if I've ever had an STD & I lied ....I lied. I hate myself so much right now. I just figured if I ever got an OB & we were still seeing eachother that I'd just have to cross that bridge when I got there. Now that I know that the chances are not that small in spreading w/o an OB I feel so low & worthless for possibly harming this guy . If I tell him he is going to hate me ! I dont know what to do I am desperate at this point for someone to help me figure out a good solution. I think we have something really special that happend by accident & it feels great . but everytime i think about trying to say something to him I think about the remarks he sd that day & wish I could just sink into the ground - on top of everything I lied to him .I feel like an awful person & I just pray that he doesnt have it now . I've been stressing out so bad about it and now I feel an OB coming on ( the weird leg /butt pain) and that started just today. the last time I had sex with him was Monday night & this is WED night - these early symptoms just started today & I took a valtrex as soon as it started so I think I'll catch it bf it gets to be a full blown OB but I am so scared for what I may have done & how to handle it . I know I cant have sex w/ him anymore but he wont understand why not. I know I need to tell him , I just dont know how. I feel sick over this .