I can't go to college closer to my family because they are in Hawaii and no colleges have my major there, plus I have grown to dislike Hawaii a little (having lived there for eight years of my life).
And as to this loneliness to which you refer, I have been lonely all my life. I have maybe had, at most, two friends at one time and even then I just feel completely isolated. Being in college is uncomfortable enough and living with another person is almost unbearable. I can't possible explain to you how I have never felt any comfornt in life besides now. And even now I have to work for that comfort, but I am willing to work if that means I can feel something that I have never felt before in my life.