Re: about milk...uther suggestions maybe?

Avoid soy!!! Especially for the baby! But for adults, too!

Have you tried making fresh (soaked and sprouted) almond milk? Perhaps with a little molasses or maple syrup, and a sprinkle of cinnamon? It tastes delicious and is so healthy.

My cousin is bring up her baby as high raw completely vegan. She feeds him all sorts of fruits and vegetables. He likes pretty much anything we adults eat. She will food process things like carrots and broccoli with avocados. He eats lots of avocados. Kids might not like things on the first taste but if you keep giving them tastes on different days then after a while they will get used to things and like them.
Sounds like your child is pretty far along the path of eating a lot of grains and dairy. I have a friend who never liked vegetables and few fruits growing up so his parents didn't feed him any. He has barely eaten anything healthy his whole life and he is one of the least healthy people I know! If healthy foods are the child's only options they will begin to find them more appealing if you know what I mean...
I see you have been in the "Baby Nutrition" forum. Some of the old posts and some of the people in there can probably give you GREAT advice! Hopefully you can find something to work with in there.

This is a book my cousin uses (she has read and used several different books):
Hallelujah Kids
Julie Wandling has done it again, and this time for your kids! As a follow up to her successful “Thank God for Raw” and “Healthy 4 Him” recipe books, Hallelujah Kids provides a wealth of recipes for all occasions that will please even the pickiest of eaters.

http://www.hacres.com/products/books_new.asp
Maybe something like that could give you suggestions