HI,
I am very sorry about your situation. However, you need to be aware that the decisions that you make may have consequences. It seems like you acted a little fast and now you are back peddling. I would suggest that you write her a letter and let her know exactly what you were feeling and how you are feeling now. I suspect that she is not responding to your calls as she has not heard what she needs to hear. Are you telling her that you will work on the relationship? Which may entail going to a couples counselor and working on issues. If you really love her as much as it sounds like, you will do anything- let her know. If you know in your heart that you made a foolish mistake then do what ever it takes. If you do, even if this doesnt work out you know that you yourself did everything you could. I think you might me surprised how this turns out if you are completly honest. I wish you well- Nancy