"Don't get me wrong, as more and more of my possible diagnosis keeps coming up as a negative, I would sure as heck like to find out for sure if it IS a candida problem or not."
I think you should try taking antifungal and see if your symptoms worsen( the sign of die-off). It will be cheaper.
When I took untifungals, I only recall severe bloating ( after garlic), but overall my syptoms were the same. I guess it depends on the person too.