Re: thanks for all the candida info!!!

Hello again, Littlepaw!

Try swinging by your library and picking up these books:
"Siblings without rivalry" and "1, 2, 3 Magic." If you can't get the Siblings book, a close one is "how to talk so your kids will listen.." Faber is one of the authors. Those books helped me learn how to manage my children differently. Besides the tips in those books, try these:

Learn to use your drive home to relax. Yes, it can be done. I used to even raise my voice at other "stupid" drivers, but I have now learned to enjoy the time, put on fun music and enjoy my time to myself! I arrive home in a better mood.

Set up a routine for when you arrive home. Your children missed you, and will of course be happy to see you. This is why they come running! Your routine could be whatever you like, but involves touching base with each child. Then the routine should also include some "mommy time."

Besides the tips in there, invite your children to be part of the solution. Such as, "I'm glad you asked me to do that with you. If I do it right now, I am still crabby from work. Let's set the timer for 20 minutes while I take a bath to get the crabbies out. Then we will. . ." Make sure you keep the "date" to connect after the bath. Also make sure you enlist your children as aids to protect you from the doorbell and telephone. Annoint them guardians of the silent bath!

Use tons of positive reinforcement. Tons and tons. Get those star charts up on the fridge and award children for productive, constructive activities. Don't get pulled into their problems, listen sympathetically and assure them of your confidence that they can work it out. Maybe ask, "what have you tried so far? What will you try next?" It will take some time, but they will become independent problem-solvers. Praise the heck out of them anytime they solve a problem without your intervention!

Put in some daily attention they preferably get when they crawl into bed! Yes- those old fashioned bedtime stories and backrubs! Children can actually learn to look forward to bedtime and stop fighting the routine! How much more peaceful for you, when they are in bed by 7:30 or 8 with their pajamas on, all ready for some attention from Mommy. Of course, once they get all comfy they will drift off feeling more loved...

Littlepaw, I'm assuming your children are young (kinda sounds like it). Maybe you're already doing some of these things, but I just tried to think of the things that have helped me the most. OH yes, occasionally I've created a game that involves a contest to stay quiet the longest- you can do anything as long as it's quiet... to get a little peace. Sometimes worked. Sometimes I've created an activity to keep the little bodies busy. Building stuff out of whatever's in the recycle bin, or whatever you can think of. Drawing pictures for a family member, etc.

Good luck.. I hope something here helps! P.S. Those books really ARE good! A godsend for me.... BTW the 1,2,3 Magic book has a version for teachers.