Re: 18 year old Alcoholic

53121, welcome, welcome.

First, you are not the only 18 year old who has alcohol interfering in their lives. Not by a long shot.
In fact, there are young people’s AA meetings full of people just like yourself. Type Alcoholics Anonymous/your town in the search field of your browser. Find the AA central office and through that find that young people’s meeting. Then go to it.

The part of your post that caught my eye is the statement/question “When they say alcohol doesn't make anything better, then why do I feel better when I have alcohol in me!”

That is an excellent question.
Here is my take on the answer. When I did not have alcohol in my system, I didn’t like the way I felt. And I knew that a couple of drinks would change the way I felt. And change it fast. It always worked. As the old country songs go, we drink to forget our troubles. Forgetting, or just not caring about my troubles was better than the suffering of facing them sober. But the problem was that I couldn’t stay drunk. I always came to in the morning and the misery started all over again. And I had all the things I did, or did not do the day before to add to my misery. Every day was a little worse than the day before.

At the end of my drinking career, that’s all I had. Too drunk to care, or deeply depressed over the state of my life.

It’s better now. I went to AA, and I haven’t had a drink, haven’t wanted to have a drink in a while.

Do yourself a favor, get into positive action. If you don’t change what you are doing, you are going to keep getting what you are getting.

Your friend
Richard