18 year old Alcoholic

I didn't know anywhere else where I could talk, so when I saw the alcohol anonymous forum, I thought - why not?

I am 18 years old and alcoholic - sad huh.

I don't really know why I came in here, I guess it's because other people who are like I am come here. I just don't think there are very many teenage alcoholics. I can't function without a drink. It's like my morning coffee.

I have been depressed for years, a highschool drop-out who looks like an absolute normal girl, stylish and all the teenage girl looks.

But inside, I am anything but a teenager. I feel like no one. I don't leave the house, I have no friends {I can't deal with anyone else at the moment} and no job and no education. I am a strong person though, I am getting myself into night school and I have dreams. I just don't know how to make myself better.

I don't really know what I'm looking for, I am just drinking right now so that's probably why I am in here, otherwise I'd drink myself into the night and live another day.

Jesus Christ, I am 18 years old! Why the hell am I so messed up!

I told myself I wouldn't let this happen, I knew I was heading down this road. When they say alcohol doesn't make anything better, then why do I feel better when I have alcohol in me!