need advice aboout crown

I called the dentist office today and found out that one of the things they plan is a crown on my upper left molar, but to me it seems in pretty good shape, it doesn't look bad or hurt at all, a little sensitive when flossing.  I feel like I need a second opinion. I do not think I would be able to get a second opinion though in my bad condition.  They stressed the urgency of treating these deep cavities I have.    I did hear not to get a metal crown but only porcelain crown, but they are expensive and I do not know if this dentist would even offer that.
I am also seeking any advice for the most wholistic way to deal with this. I have also for a long time heard of and suspect I have parasites in the gums/teeth/jaw.
I have chronic illness and poor oral health - a lot of gum recession and bone loss. I am scheduled to have to have a crown, and cringe at the thought of grinding a lot of my molar tooth away. I hate to lose any part of my body, even part of a tooth. I am trying to find out what I should know to have the most holistically healthy crown or if there is any alternative. I hate being so helpless. Seeking any advice.
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