My ex has decided to "ignore" thw trauma she has caused me 3 years later

Hello all. Im here today because i am lost and i dont know what to do. When i was a freshman in high school (currently about to be a senior) i dated a senior who was (at the time) 18. We were together for roughly 9-10 months and the whole relationship was just a toxic mess. She happened to be the girl to take my virginity and for this whole "year" i was very sexually involved with her. She was a jealous person full of pettiness and just plain manipulative. We eventually broke up and she decided to start telling everyone i raped her when she found out i was talking to a new girl. After my entire life nearly imploded and no one came to talk to me about what happened and i only had my mother and friends i didnt know of the trauma she has caused me years later. She followed me on my instagram about four months ago and when i saw her profile pic and what not appear i had my first FULL panic attack in the middle of class. And over the years the thought of her would give me anxiety and all that but actually SEEING her made my gut feel like i had a knife blending my organs up. After a month or two of her following me she messaged me and asked if i still had some of her things at my house. I told her i did and she wanted to come pick them up. She delayed getting the items for a very long time and we had off and on talk every so often. When the time came for her to actually come get her things i realized that she never made any sort of effort to ask how i was or apologize for what she did so i called her out and all she said, and i quote, was "im sorry. I dont know what you want from me. I can apologize for being childish and having people pick sides" i havent messaged her since. Its been about 5 weeks since we last spoke and i have the urge to speak to her for clarification. Im angry that she has made me scared of relationships. Im angry that her actions have caused me to have distrust with nearly every female i talk to. Im angry that she thinks nothing happened and she can just come back into my life. What do i do? Tweet